


Life Changes

by hockeylvr59 (gleefanatic)



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:50:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22167457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gleefanatic/pseuds/hockeylvr59
Summary: It’s crazy how quickly your life can change…one minute you’re a struggling personal injury lawyer and the next you’re working for one of the hottest sports podcasts to supplement your income. A new job and the end of a long-term relationship was just the beginning for Leigh Thompson when it comes to life changes. Thankfully she has the one and only Paul Bissonnette at her side to help her handle them all.
Relationships: paul bissonnette/original female character
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

“Great things never came from comfort zones.”

My head was in my phone as I read my daily motivational email while stepping off the plane in Boston. In a way, it almost seemed as if the writers knew exactly what it was that I needed to hear. Because this…this was the exact opposite of my comfort zone. Managing the business operations and events schedule for a popular hockey podcast was not what I’d imagined doing with my law degree.

But I wanted to start up my own practice, a practice in which I only got paid if I could find clients and win their cases. So far, that wasn’t going so well as far as paying the bills was concerned. So when a fellow lawyer had gotten me an interview for this part-time gig, I couldn’t turn it down. It seemed like something fun and different and I’d just been dumped because my ex had ‘met someone else’ so I really had nothing to lose.

Now, two weeks after I’d started work, I was arriving in Boston to meet the hosts of the podcast and their producer in person. Of course, the trip was also for a meeting for a sponsorship deal but I was trying not to think about that because it would be my first big test as their business manager and I didn’t want to fuck it up.

It was a Wednesday and the guys were in the process of recording the podcast when my flight was scheduled to arrive so I hailed a cab and checked myself into the hotel. They’d already made plans for us to go out tonight. Clubs were not my thing but again, “comfort zones.” After hanging my suit up for the next day’s meeting, I climbed onto the hotel bed to work on writing a complaint for my newest client’s case. Hopefully, the whole thing wouldn’t go much farther than that and we could reach a settlement but right now the insurance company wasn’t cooperating, so this was the next step in the process. By the time I finished, it was time to eat and then get ready to go out and so I ordered dinner and ate while watching something random on tv.

Around seven, I pulled out the clothes I’d brought for tonight, a red sparkly tank and dark jeans with a black leather jacket and red flats. Yes, I was going to be dwarfed by these men but heels weren’t my thing either and I’d rather not trip and fall and embarrass myself in front of them. I’d talked with each of them on the phone a few times but this was the first time I was meeting any of them in person and so my anxiety was high.

Quickly doing my hair and makeup, I grabbed my phone, wallet, and hotel key and stepped out into the hall. The five of us were meeting in the lobby at eight and it was already about ten til. When I stepped out of the elevator into the lobby, I looked around but didn’t spot any of the guys I was meeting. Well, at least I wasn’t late.

Leaning against one of the pillars in the lobby I checked social media on my phone once more, Snapchatting my sister like I did every night so my mother knew I was alive. Looking up from my phone after snapping a picture of the lobby, I spotted Ryan Whitney looking around. Waving just a bit, I smiled when he nodded and approached, quickly introducing himself. It wasn’t like I didn’t know who he was, I’d watched him play for the Penguins when I was still just a teenager, but the familiarity of the introductory process helped put me at ease.

“How long have you been down here?” He asked hands shoved into his pockets.

“About five minutes,” I responded with a small shrug and after a moment he nodded, seemingly impressed. “Hey, when I’m supposed to be somewhere by a certain time I make sure I am. I hate being late. I am not one of those women that are never ready on time.”

“Teach that to my wife please.” He declared his tone light and teasing. When another man approached calling Whitney’s name, I glanced over my shoulder and mentally cataloged the man as Mike Grinnell, the show’s producer. Of all of the men I was now working with, he was the closest to me in age. After he greeted Ryan Whitney he turned his attention to me.

“You must be Leigh. Nice to finally put a face to the name.”

“I would say the same but I grew up in Pittsburgh and I’ve followed the show for a while so I think I have faces down.” I tried to keep my comment as light as possible while reaching out a hand to shake his. Tonight was either going to go well or be really awkward and I was silently praying for the former. Thankfully, before the current situation could get awkward, the other two members of your group, RA and Paul Bissonnette made their way into the lobby. Introductions with them were brief because they were all eager to get an uber and head out to the lounge they’d picked.

During the car ride, the guys pretty much conversed among themselves so I took the time to observe their personalities when there was no reason to front and they were just being themselves. Stepping into the lounge was like entering another world and the five of us quickly made our way to an empty table. Settling into the booth, I looked around, taking in how the level of the music was quiet enough that I could actually hear myself think and how it was crowded but not overly so.

Whitney offered to buy the first round of drinks and when I asked for water they all looked at me like I was crazy.

“What? I’m thirsty. I haven’t had anything to drink all day because I got caught up in work. Last I checked alcohol doesn’t really help with hydration. Plus I’m just not a big drinker…” I did drink socially but I’d never been drunk and I was already worried about making a fool of myself. Alcohol certainly wouldn’t make me any less self-conscious. Actually, it would probably make me make a bigger fool of myself. Thankfully the guys decided to pick their battles and didn’t pressure me and when Whitney handed me a bottle of water I thanked him before taking a sip.

Once the guys had drinks, it didn’t take long before they started asking me a million questions. I’d known this was coming, after all, I was the newbie to the group and if I was going to be working closely with them it was probably best that they get to know me. At the beginning the questions were mild, asking about my schooling and aspirations practicing law. I explained what had caused me to go back to school for my law degree and how my business management degree hadn’t exactly paid off the way I had planned. When I told them about my time working for my undergraduate university’s athletic communications office, and spending a semester as an events marketing intern for the Steelers, it was clear that they were a little thrown off by the extent of my background in sports but that they were impressed at the same time.

Of course, after that, it was unsurprising when a bunch of hockey guys and former hockey players transitioned into talking hockey like they hadn’t just done it for hours earlier in the day. It was also unsurprising, at least to me, when as a lifelong hockey fan I threw my own opinions into the mix. I’d been attending Penguins games since I was three or four years old thanks to my dad’s company seats and hockey had gotten me through some tough times, including law school. That led to the good-natured teasing from the guys about which players I found attractive and after insisting that we’d be there all night if they really wanted to know I smirked and made my way to the bar for another bottle of water. While I was a fan of the game for many reasons that didn’t have to do with player attractiveness, I also wasn’t blind.

When the sports conversation ended upon my return to the table, the more prying questions began. I refused to answer anything that made me completely uncomfortable, but I was forced to explain how I had just gotten out of an eight-month relationship and how my ex had been a total jerk about it. Even surrounded by men, there was sympathy as to the fact that he’d just shown up at my door and ended things. No fanfare. No signal that it had been coming. It had been a long-distance relationship but it had seemed like things were going well and then it was just over. It sucked because he was the first man I’d truly had feelings for and it felt like I’d wasted eight months of my life, but the wounds weren’t quite so fresh a few weeks later and ultimately I was going to be okay.

Around 11 o’clock, I felt the fatigue of the flight and the exhaustion from being social starting to take over so I decided to head back to the hotel. It didn’t seem like the guys were ready to leave yet but I was confident enough to call myself an uber. Sliding out of the booth I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

“Not to be even more of a spoilsport but I think I’m going to call an uber back to the hotel. We’ve got the meeting in the morning and I’m exhausted.” RA, Whitney, and Grinnell just nodded and murmured goodnight. When I turned to say goodnight to Biz, I found him sliding out after me and shoving his hands in his pockets.

“I’m gonna head out too.” He declared.

“You don’t have to…I’ll be fine on my own. I’m a big girl.” I insisted worried that he felt obligated to cut his night short in order to protect me.

“I’m not saying you aren’t or that you can’t. But I’m ready to go to bed too so we might as well share an uber.” Throwing my hands up in a gesture that said ‘fine whatever,’ I finished ordering the ride before stepping out of the lounge and onto the sidewalk. In the cold March Boston air, I couldn’t help but yawn, running my fingers through my hair. It was definitely time to get back to the hotel, take the makeup off, change into pajamas and just chill.

The ride back was quiet, the two of us focused on our own phones. I’d gained the entire crew as Instagram followers tonight and to ebb the confusion of anyone paying attention I added my new job title to my Instagram bio before posting a picture I’d taken tonight. I could feel Biz’s eyes on me on and off and when we got back to the hotel, he reached out a hand to help me out of the uber.

“Aren’t you going to follow me back?” He asked while the two of us were waiting for the elevator.

“Only if I unfollow you just to follow you again…” I declared biting back a laugh when he looked down at me slightly confused. “Is it really that shocking that I would have followed you before tonight?” A soft ‘guess not’ left his mouth and I rolled my eyes before stepping onto the elevator and pressing the button for my floor. He was one above me and so when the elevator stopped I murmured a ‘goodnight’ before quietly making my way back to my room.

After changing, I settled into bed and set my alarms for the morning before turning the bedside light out to go to sleep. In spite of my fears, tonight had gone pretty well and I actually had fun hanging with those guys. This job was looking to be a change for the better.

Chapter 1 outfit: 

Social Media: 


	2. Chapter 2

“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.”

With our sponsorship meeting scheduled for eleven, I was up with my alarm at precisely eight am. After pulling myself out of bed, I quickly threw on sweats and a sweatshirt to head down to the lobby for breakfast. I really didn’t expect to see any of the guys until it was time to head across town to the sponsor’s office. After my travel yesterday and night out, it was relaxing to just curl up in a chair with a muffin and some orange juice to watch the news on the tv. Slowly I pulled myself from the lingering remnants of sleep and shook off the desire to crawl back into bed.

Despite being a lawyer, I hated dressing in suits and the fact that they weren’t required for day to day in law school had been a godsend. Today though it was a necessity, so after applying a light coat of natural makeup and pulling my hair into a messy bun, I slipped into a pair of dress slacks and a light floral blouse. Checking the clock, I made note that I needed to leave in about fifteen minutes so after making sure I had all of the materials I’d prepared for the meeting, I slipped my suit jacket and winter coat on before quickly slipping my feet into heels. Though I hated them, sadly they were almost a necessity and expected when it came to business.

Balancing the padfolio full of material and my purse in my arms, I quickly moved to the elevator, praying that I wouldn’t fall over or trip in the heels. Half the group was in the lobby when I arrived this time, laughing and talking about what had happened after I’d left the night before. We exchanged ‘good mornings’ and once everyone was there a few minutes later we hailed a cab to the office building of the new potential sponsor.

Upon our arrival, we were given a quick tour before being escorted up to the conference room for the meeting. The first hour of meetings went by quickly and we were close to wrapping things up to the point that the lawyer for the podcast would have to just look them over and that would be it. A phone call with the VP we were meeting with delayed matters and so given the break I excused myself to the bathroom.

On my way back to the conference room I could hear Whit and Biz talking with someone, their voices carrying down the hall. The moment I heard the third voice I froze, stepping back into the wall before peeking around the corner. Hearing my ex’s voice made my skin crawl and I honestly wanted to just disappear back into the bathroom. I had forgotten he worked for this company and was frequently in the Boston office. I knew I shouldn’t be eavesdropping but when I tried to turn away, my body wouldn’t move. There was also a part of me that was glutton for punishment and needed to know what they were talking about. Either way, I certainly wasn’t going to continue in that direction and have to encounter the man who had broken my heart. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough for that.

“Yeah, yeah I’m a huge fan of the podcast, you guys are great.”

Hearing those words leave his mouth disgusted me, but also made me want to laugh out loud because he had no idea who they were. I was the fan and he had only listened because he’d been in the car with me. It was just the kind of thing I’d expect from him though, always trying to make himself fit in even if it required lying.

Distracted by my thoughts about his many unattractive qualities, I’d missed a fourth male approaching the group but my ears certainly caught the mention of the word ‘wife.’

“Oh yeah, she’s great. Still can’t believe I’m finally married.” Glancing around the corner once more I saw my ex clap the unknown man on the back before turning back to Whit and Biz. “Got married last week after three years of being together. Guess it was about time huh?”

As his words processed in my brain I felt like I wanted to hurl. He was married and had been with another woman the entire time he’d been with you? It took everything in me to push the tears back for the moment knowing I needed to get back to the meeting and that arriving with smudged makeup would probably not look very professional. Glancing down the hallway I remembered that the office was basically a square and that I could get back to the conference room by going the other way.

The entire rest of the meeting was a blur. Though I tried to keep my mind focused, I couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal that kept pushing itself toward the front of my mind. Whits and Biz never returned but it wasn’t a big deal at this point anyway. Gathering up the final version of the sponsorship contract, I finished shaking hands with the company’s executives and then quickly made my way to the emergency stairs, flying down all fifteen floors before bursting through the lobby and out to the side of the building where I finally let the tears flood forward.

I’d been back outside for maybe fifteen minutes before my phone started ringing in my purse. Ignoring it first once and then twice, I tried to pull myself together to no avail. When I finally wrapped my shaking fingers around it and pulled it out of my purse there were texts wondering where I’d disappeared to because I wasn’t in the conference room when the guys had returned.

Still struggling to breathe I simply texted back that I was outside, if there were typos, that was just too bad, before leaning back against the wall, again struggling to try and find composure. I didn’t really care what I looked like to anyone passing by, or that my makeup was a mess because none of that compared to the dirty, used feeling that came with finding out I was the other woman. That someone else had been intimate with him when he was intimate with me.

It felt like forever before the familiar voices approached and within moments of hearing them, I was being pulled into a solid chest, strong arms wrapping around my back.

“Shh….” Sounds of comfort filled my ears, as a hand rubbed my back, only pulling away when my breathing had steadied. Glancing up embarrassed, my eyes met the warm brown set belonging to Paul Bissonnette. “Leigh…what happened?”

I knew that I owed them an explanation but even thinking about saying the words made me wobble on my heels.

“Later…can…can we get out of here?” I found myself pleading, voice moist and cracking trying to get any sounds to come out at all. Confused, concerned, and completely unaware of how to handle this, the guys simply just nodded after a moment, calling an uber to take us back to the hotel. When we got there they let me head back to my room but declared that they were going to bring lunch back.

A knock on my hotel door sounded their arrival and I quickly finished wiping my smudged makeup off my face before opening the door and letting them in. Now changed back into sweats I felt more like myself but changing my clothes couldn’t change the fact that my entire life felt like a lie now. The smell of pizza filled the air as the four men made themselves comfortable on the chairs around the table and the unoccupied bed beside my own.

No one said a word at first, instead shoving pizza into their mouths. I was hungry but my mind refused to let me eat right now.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered, blinking back another round of tears. Grinnell, the youngest of the group, was, of course, the first to open his mouth.

“What the hell happened back there? When we stepped out of the room the sponsorship negotiations were going fine.”

A strangled chuckle escaped my throat at his words and I sighed softly.

“Me crying…has absolutely nothing to do with the sponsorship. The meeting was fine, the lawyer just needs to look the final version of the contract over.” That statement caused even more confused looks as they all wracked their brains trying to figure out what could possibly have upset you so much. Sinking into the mattress of the hotel bed as far as I could, I pulled my knees to my chest. I really just wanted to be left alone but I was fairly certain these guys wouldn’t leave my room until they had answers.

“That guy you were talking to in the hallway…” I trailed off waiting for acknowledgment from Whits and Biz. “That…He’s the ex.” Swallowing hard, I waited in hopes that they would put the pieces together so that I didn’t have to spell it out.

“Motherfucker.” The curse that spilled from Whits lips clearly signaled that at least he had gotten the point and when he stood up and started pacing I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth after murmuring a soft ‘yeah.’

Silence followed and when I looked up again Biz was red, stewing in anger having put it all together in his head as well. RA and Grinnell just looked confused and I sent a pleading look to Ryan to explain it to them.

“The fucker that dumped her because he ‘found someone else’ just two weeks ago comes up to us today declaring that he’s a big fan and during the conversation, one of his coworkers comes to congratulate him on the wedding. That asshole has been seeing his now wife for three years prior to them getting married last week. Shit Leigh. He’s a fucking asshole and moron.”

Hearing that he was an idiot and that I deserved better helped in a way but it didn’t take away the ache knowing that I’d been the other woman for eight months and that he’d dumped me either because he thought he’d get caught or his real girlfriend was pushing for marriage and he finally felt guilty. The knowledge that every time he had a business trip or couldn’t come see me was because he was likely with his actual girlfriend made my skin crawl and suddenly I was crying uncontrollably again.

Seeing me cry made Biz jump to his feet, still fuming.

“I’m gonna go down there and kick his ass.” Gasping, I quickly climbed off the bed to stand in front of him, my hand falling to his forearm as it flexed, his hand clenching into a fist.

“No…please just let it be…all of you. I…I don’t want him to know I know. Please, please promise you won’t go back there.” Biz’s arm twitched under my touch as he dropped the fist and I heard him sigh as he pulled me into a hug.

“Alright. I’ll let it be. But if you change your mind let me know.” Murmuring a thank you, I attempted to force a smile onto my face.

“Good. Now if all of you could get out I’d appreciate it. I’d like to be alone for a bit.”

In turn, each hugged me, insisting that I text them if I needed anything, before leaving me alone in the hotel room. As the door clicked shut I crawled back into bed, tugging the covers over myself so that I could cry myself to sleep.

Around 8 that night, a knock had come at my door before disappearing, quickly followed by a text from Biz that he’d left me a pint of ice cream and to please not let it melt all over the hallway floor.

Other than that small gesture in which I didn’t even see Biz, I kept to myself in a state of mourning, not seeing any of the boys before flying back out of Boston.

I wasn’t close to accepting what had happened or forgiving my jerk of an ex anytime in this lifetime, but thankfully I could at least remove myself from the city which broke my heart in two all over again, tearing open the freshly healed scars.

Sponsorship meeting outfit:

No social media for this chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

“Stop looking for happiness in the same place that you lost it.”

It had been two weeks since I left Boston. Two weeks since I found out that my ex had used me by pretending to be mine until it wasn’t convenient anymore and he dumped me to marry his real girlfriend. Two weeks since he broke my heart in two again and left me to pick up the pieces.

To say that I hadn’t been myself was maybe the understatement of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I did my job to the best of my ability, both with the podcast and with my clients, but I kept conversations as brief as I could manage and the easy smile that usually graced my face had completely disappeared. I was eternally exhausted, tossing and turning in my bed every night, the same bed that I’d been with him in, sharing the most intimate pieces of myself.

It had been two weeks from one of the worst days of my life when my phone buzzed causing me to roll over in bed to see who was trying to get in touch with me at almost midnight. The name ‘Paul Bissonnette’ was at the top of a string of text message alerts and sighing softly, I reached for my phone before laying back down to read them.

_Hey, you there…_

_C’mon I know you’re still awake. You’re a self-admitted night owl._

_I’m worried about you. We’re all worried about you._

_Come to Arizona. Leave the crappy cold rainy/snowy weather and come hang out with me in the sunshine._

_Please??_

_I have a spare bedroom._

Reading his messages I sighed softly. Maybe it would be good to get away from my apartment and get some sun. I didn’t have any court dates upcoming or meetings with clients scheduled so there was no real reason I had to stay on the east coast and the weather had really sucked lately. There had been maybe one day of sunshine in the past month and it was on a day that was something like 18 degrees outside.

** _You sure you want to put up with me, I’m not the most pleasant person to be around lately?_ **

_Yes. Get your pretty ass to Scottsdale._

Sighing, I reached for my computer located beside my bed and once it booted up I pulled open my go-to travel site to try and find a flight to the west coast. Tickets weren’t cheap but it wasn’t like I was going to have to pay for a hotel and the more I thought about the suggestion Paul had made, the more I realized that getting away would be good for me. Booking tickets for a week-long trip, I sent the info to Paul before climbing out of bed.

My flight was scheduled to leave at just after 7am the next morning. That meant I needed to be at the airport by 5:30 or so and it was about an hour and a half drive there meaning I needed to leave at 4am. It was already past midnight and I obviously needed to pack so I said goodbye to the possibility of sleeping tonight telling myself that it would be worth it when I reached the warmth of Arizona. Seeing that Paul had yet to respond to me I shot him another text before running my fingers through my hair.

** _You’re picking me up, right?_ **

Grabbing my suitcase from my closet, I quickly looked up Arizona’s weather before grabbing clothes to pack into it. It was in the 70’s and 80’s there mid-March so I packed my one and only swimsuit along with shorts, tank tops and t-shirts, adding a pair of jeans, yoga pants and a sweatshirt for going into restaurants or for the cooler evenings. As I finished with my clothing and moved to pack the necessities located in the bathroom, my phone buzzed with a new message.

_Damn you’re efficient. See you in the morning. Travel safe._

Once I’d finished packing my suitcase, I worked on preparing my carry-on with all of the files I’d need to work on my current caseload for clients as well as anything I needed for the podcast. It was almost 1:30 in the morning by the time I had my things ready to go and so I switched to getting myself ready. Putting some music on, I slipped into the bathroom for a quick shower before getting dressed again and then settled onto my lounge chair in my living room to watch something random on tv until I needed to leave.

I was tired but actually kind of excited to see a new part of the country because the furthest west I’d ever been was South Dakota. As I drove to the airport I listened to the newest podcast episode, however, the closer I got the more a nauseous feeling came over me and I dug in my bag for peppermints to try and calm my stomach. The nausea had to be from the excitement, lack of sleep, or from not having had much to eat the past few days so I didn’t let it worry me.

After checking my bag and passing through security, I headed to the gate to wait on my flight. I wasn’t there long before I found myself making a mad dash to the bathroom feeling the need to heave even if there wasn’t anything in my stomach to throw up.

On my way back to the gate, I stopped to buy a bottle of water and a muffin, hoping that some hydration and food would help. When I finally boarded, I was still nauseous but thankfully hadn’t thrown up again. Settling onto the plane, I buckled up and then tried to doze off and get at least a little bit of rest during the four-hour flight. By the time I stirred we were only about 20 minutes away, 20 minutes that I prayed passed quickly because the nausea from before was still present and hadn’t ebbed.

A bumpy landing nearly did me in, but I managed to quell the urge to puke by popping another peppermint and resting my head on my knees. Climbing off the plane, I felt like a zombie making my way to baggage claim. Waiting for me there was the 6’2” Canadian who had convinced me to come here. Taking in my appearance he winced visibly before wrapping his arms around me gently.

“Can you hold this for a minute?” I mumbled offering him my carry on. When he took it, I quickly glanced around for the nearest restroom before speed-walking over. Once inside a stall I finally gave in to the nausea, throwing up the muffin that I forced myself to eat before takeoff. When I returned, I reached for my bag to grab another mint, hoping to hide the smell of vomit.

“You could’ve said you were sick and not come,” Paul assured me, seeing right through my actions as he turned to search for my luggage.

“I didn’t start feeling sick until I was driving to the airport. And I’m fine, my body is just worn down from stress. I’m here to get refreshed and renewed, aren’t I?” Though his expression showed his continued concern, when I pointed to my bag, Paul grabbed it and then returned to my side, placing a hand on my lower back to guide me through the airport to where he was parked.

“Have you slept at all recently?” He asked once I was settled into his car and he was back behind the wheel to take me to his place.

“I napped for the majority of the plane ride.” I insisted, although the yawn leaving my throat gave away that I hadn’t slept much more than that. Instead of responding, Paul just raised an eyebrow at me before turning his attention back to the road. It wasn’t long before we reached his condo and I had to admit that it was beautiful. Of course, the decorations were lacking and it was a total bachelor pad, but the space itself was stunning.

Paul took my things and placed them in his spare room while I was looking around and when he returned he insisted on giving me a proper tour. As I looked outside, Paul pointed out the pool and that the key was right by the door and that I was welcome to use it as much as I wanted. His condo also had a firepit and I was looking forward to spending the evenings there. The smell of fire was one of my favorite scents and that was the kind of relaxation I needed.

Back inside, he pointed out the hall bathroom and where the spare room was before detouring to point to his room and then letting me go settle in.

“Why don’t you rest for a few hours and then maybe we can grab lunch or something?” He suggested. Nodding, I grabbed his hand and pulled him back for a hug.

“Thanks for insisting I get away and for putting me up. I need this.” After returning my hug and insisting that it wasn’t a big deal, Paul left me to unpack a bit and just relax. After changing from my winter clothes into pajama shorts and a tank, I crawled into bed and within moments crashed from exhaustion.

When I stirred from sleep, it took me a minute to recall where I was. A glance at my phone screen told me that it was almost five o’clock, almost six hours after I’d fallen asleep. Sliding out of bed, I stretched before padding out from the guest bedroom in search of something to drink because my throat was dry from the change in humidity.

By the time I reached the kitchen and was looking for a glass, I heard the patio door open and instead of just directing me to the proper cabinet, Paul was opening the fridge and handing me a bottle of water.

“Sleeping beauty awakes….you feeling better?” Taking a sip of the bottle of water I nodded. My stomach felt much better than it had before and the quality of sleep definitely had me feeling like less of a zombie.

“Yeah, thanks…I didn’t realize a few hours was six though. Why’d you let me sleep so long?”

“You looked like you needed it and you were too peaceful to disturb.” He replied shrugging as he leaned against the counter. “You want to clean up a bit, get dressed and then go get some dinner?”

“Sure.” I agreed, though I didn’t move until I had finished the bottle of water, tossing it into the recycling bin in the corner of the room. Ten minutes later I was dressed in a pair of capris and a cute top, sandals on my feet with a sweater draped over my arm. Quickly I checked my appearance in the mirror before grabbing my phone and wallet so that we could head out.

The car ride to and from dinner was filled with music, Paul letting me choose the radio station in his car. Conversation came easy, talking about our families and hometowns, what experiences had led to where each of us was today. There was something about Paul’s presence that made me feel relaxed, and I never found myself worried about what he was thinking. When we finished dinner I attempted to pay the check but Paul refused to let me anywhere near the bill, insisting that the guys would never let him live it down if they found out he’d let me pay.

Upon returning to Paul’s place after dinner, we made our way out to the patio and Paul started a fire. The way the flames flickered, almost seemingly to the sound of the music playing softly from a speaker, made me smile and I just snuggled into the lounge chair, having pulled a sweatshirt on for warmth before coming outside.

“So…” Paul’s voice eventually broke the silence and I turned my head to look over at him. “The yotes play tomorrow and I have to work but I was wondering if you wanted to come to the game? I can give you a quick tour and you can just enjoy some hockey where you don’t care about the outcome?”

“Yeah, that sounds like fun…I have to get some work done myself tomorrow but I wasn’t really planning on spending the entire day working.” Going to a new NHL arena was always a cool experience and it was certainly a more interesting way to spend my time here than just curled up on Paul’s couch all day.

“Awesome.”

After that, silence filled the air again but it was comfortable like there wasn’t anything that needed to be said and the two of us could just exist in the same space. Occasionally I’d look over at Paul to find him watching the fire or looking up at what few stars were visible in the Arizona sky. He looked peaceful and his energy left me feeling even more relaxed. After about two hours, we agreed to let the fire burn out and once it had we headed back inside. I was already feeling drowsy when Paul asked if I wanted to watch a movie or something, so I shook my head murmuring that I was going to try and get some sleep and that I’d see him in the morning.

___

When I awoke the next morning it did not come with the pleasant rested feeling of yesterday’s nap, instead, it came with that stomach-twisting feeling that sent me staggering for the bathroom to kneel in front of the toilet. The sound of my puking must have been loud enough to alert Paul because in no time at all he was behind me, holding my hair back as I spilled my guts.

When it seemed like I was finally finished, he handed me a cool washcloth and my toothbrush which he’d already put toothpaste on. Taking both, I ran the washcloth over the back of my neck and then down over my chest all the while working on brushing my teeth to cleanse myself of the taste of vomit.

“You okay?” He asked, face crinkled with concern as he leaned against the doorframe, giving me some space to move around.

“I mean I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus but yeah I’m fine.” Running my fingers through my hair, I looked up at him and sighed. “Stop worrying, I’m fine. It’s just my body’s way of coping with all the stress I’ve put it through finally starting to ebb.” Paul didn’t look convinced but he didn’t say anything other than asking if I wanted breakfast. When I shook my head he nodded and left the room telling me to come get him if I needed him or changed my mind on food.

Since I’d decided to wait a while for my stomach to settle before eating, I grabbed my computer to sort through work emails and handle some paperwork. Getting lost in my work it was lunchtime before I even looked up, and after finishing what I was working on for the moment, I decided it was time for a break and to try and eat something. I already felt much better than just a few hours ago.

Digging through Paul’s kitchen was a sad affair, the man was definitely a bachelor. Thankfully he had some chicken breasts in the freezer and some fresh vegetables in the produce drawer of his fridge. Pulling out the chicken, I placed it on a plate in the microwave to defrost before pulling out the vegetables to cut after tracking down a cutting board and knife.

Once the chicken was defrosted, I slipped out to the patio to start his grill, throwing the chicken on to start cooking once I’d seasoned it with a spice mix I had found in his cabinets. While the chicken cooked, I plated up the vegetables and washed the dishes I’d used. Fifteen minutes later the chicken was done and I added it to the plates after letting it sit to redistribute the juices.

Paul had worked out earlier but I wasn’t sure where he’d disappeared to while I was working. Padding through the condo, I found him lounging in his bed with the tv playing softly and notes for either the yotes or the podcast surrounding him. Tapping on the doorframe to draw his attention I smiled when he looked up at me.

“Hey…I made lunch if you’re hungry…” Shoving papers to the side he quickly stood up and walked toward me.

“What the hell did you find to make?” He questioned, expression confused but impressed.

“Just grilled up some chicken breasts and cut up some vegetables. Nothing super complex.” It was also something that I hoped would be light enough that my stomach wouldn’t react adversely. Grabbing a plate from the counter, I moved out to the patio, planning on enjoying this weather as much as I could. After all, there was no way I could sit outside to eat back at home.

Paul followed, balancing his plate along with two glasses, gently setting one in front of me before sitting his own food and drink down.

“Just iced tea.” He assured me and I nodded murmuring my thanks. Lunch went down easy and when I was finished I leaned back in my chair just looking out at the great view.

“So what time do we need to leave for the arena?” I questioned, my brain always trying to plan out the next steps of whatever it was I was doing. I had no idea what I was going to wear or where I’d be sitting for the game and it left me slightly uneasy.

“Probably around 4. That way I can give you a quick tour and make sure I have everything ready.” Nodding at his answer, I declared that that sounded good and took his plate when he was finished, slipping back inside to wash them up and put everything from lunch away. Having gotten everything I wanted to get done work-wise accomplished earlier, I moved to grab the book I’d thrown in my bag and settled myself back outside to enjoy some more fresh air.

Knowing that it wouldn’t take that long to get ready, I set an alarm for three pm to stop reading if I hadn’t gotten tired of the book by then. Around 2:45, I heard the patio door open and then quickly shut and before I could turn around or react, a piece of soft fabric was landing in my lap. Picking it up, I chuckled seeing that it was obviously one of Paul’s t-shirts that he’d gotten from the team in his years here.

Grabbing the shirt and my things, I moved back inside, shaking my head as I could hear Paul rattling around in his closet. Stopping in his doorway, I poked my head in.

“Thanks.” I called out and when he entered my vision without a shirt on, I lost my train of thought.

“Figured I’d save you the mental turmoil over what to wear.” He teased and it was pretty sad that after less than a month he knew me that well already. Ducking my head, I slipped away from the room and back to the guest bedroom, shutting the door behind me. Paul was an attractive man and even someone recovering from heartbreak could see that.

Quickly, I slipped into the pair of jeans I’d brought and after throwing on a black long sleeve t-shirt, I pulled Paul’s shirt on over it. The material was so soft in the way that showed that it was well worn and it definitely had that lingering smell that signaled it belonged to a man. Since I was absolutely swimming in it, I quickly tucked it into my jeans so that it didn’t look quite so baggy.

Now dressed, I grabbed the little bit of makeup I’d brought as well as my curling iron and made my way to the guest bathroom to finish getting ready. My hair would definitely take the longest so while I waited for the curling iron to heat up I quickly did my make up, keeping it simple with just foundation, eyeliner, mascara, blush, and lipstick.

By the time we needed to leave I’d managed to get my hair curled into soft waves and after unplugging the curling iron and grabbing my things, I made my way to the living room to wait on Paul. When he appeared all dressed in his suit, I couldn’t help but tease him about cleaning up nice. In return he lightly commented that I looked hot in his clothes, making me flush slightly as I laughed, enjoying the easy banter between us.

I’d been to a few different NHL arenas before but I’d never gotten the full tour and so I was sure the wonder showed on my face as Paul showed me around before leading me up to the box where he did the radio broadcast. It was a pretty nice view of the ice and I listened intently as he explained everything. Seeing someone be passionate about what they were doing was always something that got my attention and it seemed like he really had found his niche with all of the media work he was doing.

Sadly the game ended in a loss but I’d had fun all the same, going down to rinkside for warmups where Clayton Keller tossed me a puck after having met me when Paul and I ran into him earlier. Paul had put me into one of the season tickets seats he’d purchased and while I liked the view from above, it was always nicer feeling like I was close to the action in the middle of the crowd.

Arriving back at his condo, I was completely worn out and after hugging Paul goodnight and thanking him again for letting me stay with him and for providing a great night out, I slipped into the guest bedroom and passed out after changing into pajamas.

Chapter 3 Social Media:


	4. Chapter 4

“Change is never easy.”

Waking up my third day in Arizona I felt nauseous, but it wasn’t bad enough that I needed to bolt for the toilet. Deciding that I needed breakfast before getting some work done, I slipped a sweatshirt on before heading out to Paul’s kitchen. There I found the man himself cooking up some eggs and bacon. The smell made my stomach twist but I fought back the urge to throw up, instead grabbing a bottle of water and murmuring good morning to him.

“Good morning, want some breakfast?” He questioned peering at me over his shoulder while he cooked. When my stomach once again twisted after catching a whiff of the smell, I could only shrug my shoulders, pressing a palm to my stomach.

“My brain says yes, but my stomach is suggesting that maybe I should hold off. I’m managing to hold onto my stomach but just barely,” I admitted, wishing that my body would pull itself together and get over this whole nausea thing because it was really getting old. “So maybe I’ll just have a banana and go get some work done.”

Grabbing a piece of fruit from the bowl on the counter, I tried to ignore the look Paul was giving me as I peeled the banana and then headed back to the guest bedroom.

Staring at the words on my computer screen as I tried to work made my head spin a little, so I put everything to the side, instead just laying back down for a few minutes waiting for my vision to clear. I was almost back asleep when Paul appeared in the doorway declaring that he was going to go work out and then he had some content to film so he would be back around dinner time. Raising my hand in a thumbs up in acknowledgment I rolled back over and laid in bed for a few more minutes, the sound of the front door and Paul leaving following just a few minutes later.

Any additional rest I was attempting was cut off abruptly when the nausea took over and once again sent me bolting for the toilet. Throwing up was really the worst and left me feeling drained and gross. I couldn’t understand why I kept getting sick in the morning, other than that maybe it had something to do with drainage from sleeping and the humidity and air pressure. Deciding to clean up a little, I brushed my teeth and then turned the shower on, letting the heat from the water flow over my skin and the steam fill my lungs as I bathed until it ran cold.

After cleaning up, I redressed and my little bit of self care seemed to settle my stomach enough that I was able to spend a few hours working. Deciding I was done for the day around 1, I padded back out to the empty kitchen, digging through Paul’s cabinets for anything that my stomach might tolerate. He had a few boxes of protein bars and since only one sounded moderately decent, I grabbed two bars from the box and worked on breaking off pieces to eat while I changed to head out to the pool.

With my suit on under shorts and a tank top, I slipped my sunglasses onto my head and sandals onto my feet before pulling my book from my bag and phone from its charger. As I passed through the kitchen I also grabbed a bottle of sunscreen, a bottle of water, and the pool pass and condo key Paul had left behind. Arizona weather was nothing like the east coast this time of year and the sun on my skin felt wonderful. Laying out on a patio chair with my book was the perfect way to spend the rest of the afternoon and I couldn’t help but be jealous of the snowbirds that spend their winters like this while enjoying the more mild summers up north.

I was still at the pool hours later when Paul found me, appearing over my chair as I lounged watching some of the kids playing before dinner. He was in his own swimsuit and simply plopped down on the chair beside me, setting a fresh bottle of water down for me next to my empty one.

“Glad you’re finally enjoying the pool.” He declared. “Or at least the pool deck…” He clarified because there were no signs that I’d gone into the water, though I definitely had gone for a swim an hour or so earlier.

“A girl’s gotta work on her tan.” I teased and once again I felt his eyes graze over my body before he smirked and slid his sunglasses back on.

“Yeah…you are pretty ghosty looking.”

He laughed as I chucked my empty water bottle at him. Moments later some of the kids in the water spotted Paul and called out for him wanting him to come play with them and I raised an eyebrow.

“Go on…you can’t let those kids down…” I teased, grinning over at him. Standing he sighed and turned to go to the pool but before he got two steps he turned and suddenly his hands were reaching for me, tugging me to my feet and then carrying me over to the pool where he promptly dropped me into the water before jumping in himself.

I was sputtering a bit when I came up for air, and spotting him mere feet away I simply shoved him before splashing as much water as I could manage his way. The kids didn’t give me much time to be angry even if I wanted to be (which I really didn’t) as they quickly pulled both of us into their game, tossing a foam football around. Their laughter was probably the best medicine I could ask for and Paul was unsurprisingly a good sport, getting super into the games. Watching him play with these kids only reaffirmed in my mind what a good guy he was and I knew that I was lucky to be in his life, even as just a friend and coworker.

We stayed in the pool for nearly half an hour after the kids went inside for dinner, just swimming lazy laps and watching as the sun started to set. Back inside, Paul set to start dinner while I changed, having picked up steaks and some broccoli to grill at my suggestion. After dinner, he made a fire once again and we spent the evening just relaxing and enjoying the weather outside. My week here was flying by way too quickly and I didn’t want these moments to end.

______

Paul’s POV

It was eight in the morning and once again the sound of Leigh vomiting served as my alarm clock for the day. She had been in Arizona for four days and had vomited or been nauseous each morning since arriving. Though she kept insisting that it was just stress, my gut was telling me otherwise.

Pushing myself out of bed, I slid on a pair of sweats before padding to the guest bathroom, again pulling her hair away from her face while she spilled whatever might have been left in her stomach at this point. Squatting down beside her, I rubbed my left hand over her back gently. Once she appeared to be done, I stepped out of the bathroom while she finished cleaning up, grabbed my phone from the bedside table and proceeded into my bathroom pulling up my text conversation with Whits.

_She threw up again._

Brushing my teeth after taking a piss, I splashed some water on my face waiting for a text response.

_ **Seriously? This is what day four?** _

_That I’m aware of…_

_ **And she hasn’t been drinking tap water? And she’s fine the rest of the day?** _

_Yeah, still think it’s just a bug? Because if it is I’ve never seen one like it._

_ **No. Gonna get her to see a doctor?** _

_I mean I think I have to. I don’t think she has any clue._

_Or she does and is just in denial…_

_ **Man…good luck with that. Can’t say I envy you. Definitely sounds like your suspicions may be right though.** _

_Man do I hope I’m wrong…_

Within fifteen minutes I’m ready to go for the day and after checking with a buddy who operates a local clinic I’ve got a spot for her in an hour to be seen by a doctor. Convincing her to go is another problem entirely. Peeking into the guest bedroom, I see her curled up in a ball and after tapping on the door I walk in, moving to sit on the edge of the bed next to her. She looks so small like this and my chest clenches at what she’ll have to go through if my suspicions are right.

“Come on. Get up.” I prod and she groans softly murmuring that she just wants to rest. “You can rest after you see a doctor.” Her face pales at my words and I start to wonder if she actually knows what is going on and is in denial. “Come on. I got you an appointment at a clinic a buddy runs.”

“I’ll be fine, it’s just a bug.” She declares attempting to get me to leave her alone.

“If it’s a bug then they can get you something to help your body fight it so you aren’t praying to my commode every morning. Come on. Let’s go. Get dressed.” Part of me feels bad because it’s clear she doesn’t feel well this morning but I’m not sure that continuing this routine is going to do her much good.

Finally, she works herself to her feet and motions for me to leave the room so she can change. Moving to the kitchen I grab one of the protein bars she seems to like so that she can eat it in the car as well as a bottle of water before making myself a quick smoothie so that we can get to the appointment on time.

When she enters the room I take in the dark circles under her eyes and her hair thrown up into a messy ponytail, simple shorts and a t-shirt covering her body. To say she looks tired is an understatement and after grabbing my keys I usher her out the door and into my car.

Once in the car, she slumps against the window and winces as I start the car and music fills the cab. After quickly reaching to turn it down I back out of my parking spot and drive silently to the clinic, my worry growing the closer we get. The whole point of her coming out here was to get her feeling better and currently she looks worse than when she landed after not sleeping at all.

Arriving about fifteen minutes before her appointment time I couldn’t help but smile seeing that she had fallen asleep. At this point, any rest that she could get would be to her benefit. Slipping out of the car, I move around to the passenger side door, opening it gently before reaching out to shake her awake softly. As she stirs, her face turns pale and after quickly unbuckling and scrambling out of the car she was puking once more into a bush at the side of the building. A soft groan falls from her mouth when she finally finishes and she gratefully takes the mint I offer shooting me a look that suggests I’m better off not saying anything because she doesn’t want to admit that I was right and she needs to see a doctor.

Guiding her inside I watch as she fills out the paperwork as best she can while feeling sick and not having full mental capabilities. When a nurse calls her back I softly murmur that I will be here when she is done unless she wants me to go with. Standing, she shakes her head, so I sit back in the chair, pulling out my phone to serve as a distraction until she is finished.

******

Every few minutes I find myself glancing at the clock, my knee bouncing as I try and occupy myself while I wait. Multiple other patients come and go as I sit there growing more worried the longer she’s back there. After what feels like forever the door finally opens, but when I glance up its a nurse and not Leigh. Seeing that she has my attention she silently motions for me to follow her and we walk back to an exam room where she knocks softly on the door before opening it and motioning for me to enter.

The sight in front of me immediately breaks my heart, Leigh is clinging to a nurse, her body shaking uncontrollably with sobs. The same instinct that had propelled me forward when she was crying outside of the building in Boston caused me to do the same thing now and seeing me in her periphery the nurse helps slide Leigh from her arms into my chest. Wrapping her up tightly, I rub her back, a litany of curses filling my mind. I wanted to be wrong, I prayed that I was wrong and that my stupid male brain was just missing something. For once being right is the worst feeling in the world.

Eventually, she stops shaking, though I can feel the moisture of her tears continuing to soak through my shirt. Moving a hand from her back, I rub my fingers over the top of her head before pulling back just enough to wipe at the tears in her eyes. When she finally looks up at me, her mouth opens and then shuts repeatedly, words refusing to form. As more tears fall, I continue to wipe them away not sure what else I could possibly do to comfort her.

“Why does the universe hate me?” She finally mumbled, the faintness of her voice signaling that she was barely holding herself together. Honestly, I didn’t have an answer for her and so I just shook my head, bending enough to press my mouth to her temple, kissing softly.

“I don’t know.” Swallowing hard, I sighed softly. “But it’s all going to be okay…” Though my words were meant to be comforting, it seemed like they were anything but when she pulled away from me like she’d been burned.

“What do you mean it’s all going to be okay? I’m pregnant! I’m pregnant with my fucking married ex’s child. The same ex who lied to me for the entirety of our relationship. Who made me the other woman. How am I supposed to have a baby?!” Her rant came with a raised voice that was just short of shouting and suddenly she slumped back down into a seated position on the exam table.

“Oh my god…I’m having a baby…” I could almost see the wheels turning in her mind and while I wanted to say something, I was certain that anything leaving my mouth right now would be the wrong thing. “I’m having a baby…what am I gonna do Paul?” Suddenly her eyes were focused on me again and feeling the shift in the air I pulled her back into a hug.

“You’re gonna be a kickass mom and a milf. That’s what.” Her body shook briefly, this time in more of a laughing manner than a sobbing one, and when her eyes met mine again there was a bit more light in them than before and I let out a sigh of relief that my humor had actually helped for once. “You’ve got your parents and sisters, all of your extended family to support you. You know you’ll have the rest of the guys, they all think of you like a sister already. And of course, you have me.” A second after I finished speaking it hit me that maybe she would get the wrong impression by the fact that I separated myself from the rest of the guys, so I opened my mouth again in hopes that she wouldn’t notice. “That fucking moron doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.” The small smile that had started to appear on her face disappeared and I quickly realized it would have been better if I had just stopped and let her dwell on my previous statement. Stupidly mentioning her ex was a mistake and I watched as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, an angry glare flickering in her eyes.

“I’m not telling him. He doesn’t get to be a part of this.” She paused almost like she was waiting for me to tell her that he deserves to know. When I didn’t, because I had already fucked this up enough, she continued. “You know, considering everything, this was probably the only good thing he ever did for me and I’m not going to let him ruin it by letting him be involved. He chose her, by breaking my heart and lying to me he lost any right he had to ever get to know this baby. This baby is better off with no father than with one who doesn’t see the harm and lying and cheating his way through life.” I couldn’t really fault her for that and instead just nodded rubbing her back again.

“Wanna get out of here?” I questioned certain that this wouldn’t be the last breakdown she had about this but for the moment she had seemed to accept it which is probably better than I would be in her situation. When she responded affirmatively, we left the exam room and checked out of the clinic, a nurse handing her a million and one pamphlets as well as what looked like two prescriptions.

Sliding back into my car I asked if she needed to go get the scripts filled and then if she wanted to go home or wanted to go do something distracting? Her response about the pharmacy was certain but she seemed to waver on the latter, glancing at herself in the mirror and cringing.

“Why don’t we just go for a drive?” I suggested, causing her to smile a bit brighter from beside me. While we waited at the pharmacy drive thru she pulled up a scenic driving route and after a little prodding I convinced her to try and eat the protein bars and to drink some water knowing that she had to take care of more than just herself now.

The sun had set before we returned home, having driven the Apache Trail with music blasting over my radio and the brunette beside me singing at the top of her lungs from the passenger seat before we eventually stopped for dinner. Settling onto the couch, Leigh seemed much more relaxed than earlier that day or even since she’d gotten off the plane in Phoenix.

Peeking across the room, Leigh was going through the million photos she’d taken on her phone, trying to decide which ones were the best and worth sharing on social media. I’d already decided what I was uploading: a few scenic shots, a short clip of her performing car karaoke, and a photo of her from behind while she was gawking at the landscape in front of her.

For a few hours, it had seemed like she’d forgotten all about the life-changing news thrown at her that morning. Forgotten that thanks to the idiot who had broken her heart that she was about to become a mother.

A knock at my door around 2 am signaled that the illusion had been broken. After waking up, I motioned her into my room, lifted the covers for her to crawl into bed and then tugged her into my chest and wrapped my arms around her. Feeling her tears against my skin I sighed softly and began running my fingers through her hair just tucking her as close to me as I could.

This was going to be a long and emotional journey for her and it looks like I’m along for the ride and all of these big life changes.

Chapter 4 Social Media:


	5. Chapter 5

“Will it be easy? Nope. Worth it? Absolutely.”

The rest of my trip to Arizona was filled with more morning sickness, more tears, and more emotional uncertainty. I had tried sleeping in the guest bedroom again the night after ending up in Paul’s bed after finding out I was pregnant, but it only led to tossing and turning. Just like he’d noticed something was wrong with me being sick, Paul also noticed that I clearly hadn’t slept so after that he’d insisted that I stay in his bed with him so he could hold me, allowing me to actually feel calm enough for sleep to come.

Though I had initially protested because I was worried it would cross the lines of friends and coworkers, he assured me that his intentions were purely platonic and that he just wanted me to get the sleep my body needed to function and to support the little one growing inside me. My agreement was tentative, but when his actions fully supported his words, I found myself eager to steal as much comfort from his presence and touch as I could. The fact that his body was warm and I had always run cold certainly didn’t hurt either.

I wasn’t ready for my week in Arizona with Paul to come to an end, but the morning of my flight arrived and I found myself reluctantly boarding the plane back east. Returning home meant losing Paul’s physical comfort and support but not once did I lose the emotional, and some days it felt like he was the only thing getting me through. There were nights where I couldn’t fall asleep if I didn’t have his voice speaking softly in my ear. Sometimes it was the podcast or his radio broadcast for Arizona but if I was lucky, he’d call and just talk to me about random things until I would drift off to sleep. While we had texted frequently before I went to Arizona, our conversations were now constant. He was always quick with a supportive pick-me-up or with a joke that never failed to make me smile. At a time where so much was change occurring in my life and my brain was struggling to adapt, he was a constant that steadied me and reminded me that I could handle everything that was coming my way. He had become an unexpected friend, but one that I desperately needed.

Slowly over the next few weeks, I acclimated to the knowledge that I was expecting a child, that I was going to be a single mother, and I did my best to begin planning for the changes I would need to make.

One of the first things I needed to do was to see an ob-gyn to make sure that everything was actually going okay with the pregnancy. An appointment soon after arriving home established that I was indeed pregnant, if there had been any doubt left, and I’d gotten to hear the baby’s heartbeat for the first time.

It was no surprise that I’d cried hearing it and when I sent Paul the little audio clip during our text conversation after the appointment, his response was once again everything I didn’t know that I needed to hear.

The doctor had a rough guess of my due date based on my hormone levels and what I’d told her about the last time I’d had sex, but I was scheduled for an ultrasound mid-April in order to cement the timeframe for my pregnancy. I knew that I should tell my parents, that keeping this from them was probably a bad idea, but I convinced myself that it wouldn’t hurt to wait until I was certain I was out of the first trimester and that the baby was healthy. Considering that my mother and her cousin had both lost babies at the end of their pregnancies and that none of my mom’s successful pregnancies had been without some complication I felt justified in needing to keep this to myself until the risk of miscarriage decreased. I had shared my concerns with my doctor and with Paul and surprisingly he echoed my doctor’s statements that I was not my mother and that just because she had had complications didn’t mean that I would as well. 

____

Two weeks later, I had my first ultrasound and after leaving the doctor’s office I couldn’t stop staring at the photos. The doctor had assured me that the baby was perfectly healthy and its development was where it should be at 12 weeks along. Pure joy was the predominant emotion of the day and I couldn’t help but want to share that feeling with someone. Since Paul was the only person who knew about the baby aside from my doctor, I couldn’t help but take a picture of my sonogram and text it to him. 

Since he was currently in Toronto and had gone to the Leafs game the night before, I wasn’t expecting a response right away. So when my phone rang only about fifteen minutes after I’d sent the photo and Paul’s picture lit up the screen I couldn’t help but smile. 

“Hey.” I murmured in greeting, setting aside the mail I’d grabbed when I’d gotten home so that I could go curl up on my couch to talk to him. Instead of the greeting I expected on the other end of the line, I instead heard a sharp intake of breath. 

“Wow…that’s…that’s the baby?” He inquired, his tone hinting at wonderment. 

“Yeah, Paul. That’s the little human who has been making me sick for the past month. Pretty cool huh…I can’t stop staring at it.” 

“Yeah..no. I can see why Leigh. So everything’s okay?” He didn’t say it but his tone implied that he knew that I had been worried about the baby’s health and though the doctor had said everything seemed fine weeks ago, visual confirmation was reassuring. 

“Perfect. The baby is healthy, right where they should be development wise. The doctor would like me to get my stress levels down but understands why they’ve been up. Otherwise, I’m healthy too. All is good.” 

“Good. I’m glad. Did you find out your due date?” There was really no way to describe how much I loved that Paul seemed interested in my pregnancy. We were just friends but there was no doubt in my mind that I could go to him about anything and he would listen with no judgment. 

“Yeah. November 5th. Right before the holidays.” It was crazy how fast things seemed to be moving and I was sure that that date would be here before I knew it. 

“That seems so far away but it’s really not.” Again it was like Paul could read my mind and I giggled softly, pressing a palm to my stomach. 

“I know.” Closing my eyes for a moment I yawned softly. “So you’ve been busy in Toronto. Having a good time?” 

Listening to Paul talk about his visit to his parents and his upcoming flight to Vancouver to close on a house made me smile, more occasional yawns escaping my mouth. 

“Hey… you sound tired. Why don’t you and the dustbunny go lay down for a nap?” It took my mind a moment to process that he had just nicknamed the baby and my face crinkled curiously. 

“Dustbunny?” I questioned softly. “Why is my baby a dustbunny Paul?” Teasing affection laced my voice as I waited for an explanation. Though I couldn’t see him, I felt like if I could he would certainly be running his fingers across his scalp with an embarrassed expression on his face. 

“Are you really going to make me explain my nickname for your child?” He mumbled and I quickly nodded before it processed that he couldn’t see me either. 

“Yes. Yes, I am.” 

“Fine. I don’t know. A Duster…a duster is a guy that sits on the bench a lot collecting dust during games. Which I kind of was.” I could kind of see where he was going with this but kept quiet wanting to see what he’d say. “And you know…I kinda knew about the baby before anyone else so I’m a little attached okay, and so when I started thinking about what I wanted to call the baby that’s what popped into my head and I don’t know…I kinda like it.” 

The fact that he had actually thought about a nickname for the baby instead of just calling it an ‘it’ or ‘baby’ or something like ‘peanut’ made me smile and the fact that what he came up with was attached to him in a way made it even better. It was adorable. 

“That’s really cute. I suppose you can call the baby that and I’m okay with it.” My voice was moist, as it didn’t take too much to make me emotional these days. 

“I’m glad you approve.” He replied, slight sarcasm lingering in the words. “Now go take the dustbunny and lay down for a nap. Doctor says you’re stressing too much so go take it easy. Biz’s orders.” 

“Alright fine. I will. Once I stop staring at the pictures of the baby.” Again if I could see him he would totally be rolling his eyes at me and as I hung up, I couldn’t help but smile at the conversation we’d just had. 

“Guess you’ve got your first nickname little one. You’re a little dustbunny.” 

_______

It was the Thursday before Mother’s Day weekend and I was driving back to my parents’ house because my middle sister was graduating high school on Saturday. Every mile driven was another mile closer to having to tell my parents that I was having a baby. I was already fifteen weeks pregnant and my bump was becoming more and more obvious every day. And now that I was out of the first trimester, my excuse for keeping the news a secret had disappeared. 

But knowing that I had to tell my family, and that it was time didn’t mean that I wasn’t freaking out. Part of me felt silly for being so nervous because yes I was single, but I had a graduate degree and two solid jobs; when my parents had me they had been half a decade younger, unmarried, and had just barely graduated with undergraduate degrees. I was in a much better position than they had been and yet I still worried about what they’d think about the fact that my baby’s father was never going to be in the picture. 

After stopping for lunch and gas, I climbed back into my car and just sat there trying to calm the nerves that were building inside me. Almost like he knew I needed him, my phone rang with Paul’s picture appearing and I answered softly, the hitch in my breath alerting him to my distress as always. There was something about hearing his voice that was immediately calming and I closed my eyes for a moment just listening to him telling me to breathe and counting softly until I was finally able to push away some of the anxiety that was creeping into my mind. Deciding that I was of sound enough mind to start driving again, I put Paul on speaker through my car’s sound system. 

“So hey…” Paul started, his tone changing a bit from consoling me to trying to provide a distraction so that I didn’t end up drowning in my own mind again. “I was bored on my flight to Vancouver yesterday and I ended up googling some stuff you’ll find pretty cool. Dustbunny is currently the size of a pear. That’s still pretty fucking tiny but I know he or she still has lots of time to keep growing.” I had an app on my phone that told me this kind of thing every week but his attempt at distraction was working and I was amused by the fact that he had researched this of all things on his flight yesterday. 

“Dustbunny also has see-through skin which is weird but awesome and it’s made even cooler by the fact that he or she finally has bones that are becoming hard and can be seen on xray.” The awe that laced Paul’s voice had my smile widening and I couldn’t help but think that even though my baby didn’t have a dad, they had an awesome Uncle Paul and that made him or her pretty lucky. 

“Also…dustbunny’s ears and eyes are finally almost where they should be on his or her head which is good because otherwise I’d have to beat up a bunch of kids for teasing them and I figure that’s probably frowned upon.” He was so matter of fact with the statement of protection that I felt a chuckle slipping from my throat and when he spoke again it was obvious he’d heard it and was now smiling. “And you haven’t mentioned feeling the baby yet, but I read that little dustbunny is moving around in there like crazy, kicking and moving his or her arms and legs, practicing so that he or she can become an awesome hockey player like their favorite uncle.” 

It was then that Paul transitioned from what he’d read about the baby’s development to all of the things he wanted to teach them when they finally arrived. The conversation between the two of us continued…well he did most of the talking and I mostly listened…until I was pulling off the exit ramp in my hometown. Paul must have realized I was almost home when I cracked the windows for a bit of fresh air now that I was on back roads because he stopped mid-sentence and spoke my name softly. 

“Hey…just so you know, it’s all gonna be fine. I know you’re nervous but your parents love you and they’re gonna have your back. Plus you’ve said you’re fairly sure your sisters are going to be excited so if nothing else, just focus on that.” He declared and I took a deep breath, nodding to myself. “And you know you can call me whenever. I’m just a few taps on a screen away.” 

________

Upon arriving home, my middle sister, Amanda, let me inside pulling me into a hug and we spent the rest of the afternoon talking about her plans now that she was finally done with her primary education. Shortly after, my baby sister Taylor, and mom arrived home and when I hugged the latter I prayed that she wouldn’t notice the baby bump sticking from my front. With so much to prepare before more family drove out tomorrow, the four of us set to work in the kitchen, preparing as much of the food for the weekend as we could ahead of time. 

As long as I kept myself busy, it was easy to pretend that I wasn’t about to drop a bombshell on my family. But eventually my dad arrived home from work and we sat down in the living room to eat dinner and watch whatever game show was on tv. I knew that I needed to eat but now that I had stopped moving my stomach was flopping back and forth with nerves. As they all wrapped up eating, I set my still half-full plate aside and bit my lip for a moment. 

“Can I talk to you guys about something for a minute?” I found that as soon as the words came out in a whisper that I had the full attention of everyone else in the room. With my mom looking to my dad to mute the TV, she murmured that of course I could and instantly all the feelings I had bottled up caused tears to prick at my eyes. 

“So um …your first grandbaby slash niece or nephew is going to be here by Thanksgiving this year.” The silence was overwhelming and I found myself unable to meet the gaze of anyone in the room. 

“Are you pregnant?” It was Taylor that asked the million dollar question and when I simply nodded she squealed before dashing around the couch to hug me. Neither of my parents said a word for a long moment and I swallowed hard awaiting their reaction. 

“How?” The question that left my mom’s mouth wasn’t the most appropriate one because I knew that she obviously knew the answer to that, otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here. When further questions of ‘how far along I was’ and ‘where was the father’ came forth I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, one hand falling to my stomach. 

“I’m fifteen weeks…and he’s not in the picture.” Though my mother masked her anger well, I could tell that she was upset so after taking a sip of water to clear my throat I continued. “I…I didn’t know how to tell you. I….I didn’t take the news so well myself at first and by the time I adjusted I had myself so worked up over everything that I decided to wait until I was out of the first trimester before I told anyone.” By this point, Amanda had shifted across the couch and was rubbing my back gently as I attempted to explain myself.

“But the baby and I are healthy. And we’re gonna be okay. I just hope you guys can support me through this because I really need you.” Wrapped in the arms of both my sisters, I let myself cry for a moment. I had counted on them being the fastest to adapt because I was their big sister and not viewed in the same light as I was by my parents. “As for baby’s dad…I’ll be honest with you. The story the world is going to hear is that he was a one night stand and I don’t know who he is; because that’s just easier. The truth…the truth is that we were together for eight months before he broke up with me and I have no plans on telling him about the baby. I know you might think that’s wrong but shortly after he ended things I found out that he’d been cheating on his long-time girlfriend with me and that they’re now married. I am not putting my baby through the hassle of a split home and custody issues when I can do this by myself. He did nothing but lie to me and I don’t want my baby around him.” 

Finishing my spiel, I realized that my father was no longer in the room and I held my breath trying not to assume the worst from that fact. My mother was silent before eventually coming over, pulling me to my feet, and giving me a hug. 

“You’re gonna be a great mom sweetheart. I’ve never had any doubts about that.” That validation from her was exactly what I needed and I sunk into her embrace feeling more of the tension I’d been holding in leave. “I just wish you hadn’t waited so long to tell me…I hate that you’ve been dealing with this on your own for months.” After a moment, I pulled back just a bit and sighed. 

“I uh…technically there’s one person that knows besides my doctor. I was visiting one of my coworkers and he’s actually the one that figured out I was pregnant. So he knows and has talked me down from the ledge a few times, he’s been a really good friend.” Surprisingly, my mother seemed okay with that and just held me close for a few minutes, her fingers carding through my hair drawing most of the remaining tension from my body. Eventually though, Taylor spoke up again, her tone full of excitement. 

“Well..do you have any pictures of the baby?” She asked and I found myself laughing at her eagerness as I nodded. 

“Of course I do. I also have a recording of the baby’s heartbeat.” From the moment I played the audio for the first time and pulled up the set of ultrasound pictures on my phone I knew that at least most of my family was on my side. Showing off my growing baby bump and hearing their reactions as to how cute it was lifted my spirits even further. 

It wasn’t until I stepped into the kitchen a little while later to get more water that I truly got my father’s reaction. Part of me was surprised when he tapped my shoulder before wrapping me in another hug where he mumbled that he loves me and was there for whatever I needed. Overall, the conversation with my parents and sisters had gone for the most part how I’d expected and hoped that it would. Unsurprisingly, there was a bit of disappointment at the situation, but once everyone got past that initial reaction it was clear that I had their support and that this baby was going to be very loved. As I snuggled up on the sofa bed to sleep that night, I texted Paul just to let him know that everything was okay and to thank him for earlier. 

______

The arrival of extended family for Amanda’s graduation made me nervous. It was another group of people I needed to tell that I was expecting and another group of people whose reactions I wasn’t certain of. Unsure of how to break the news and wanting the weekend to be about my sister, I kept quiet both Friday and Saturday, just enjoying the time I had with my family. 

On Sunday morning, my mom was hosting a big brunch for everyone to celebrate my sister’s graduation as well as Mother’s Day. Getting up early, I hopped in the shower before getting dressed in a pair of shorts and a flowy blouse which would once again hide my bump. My grandmother was already in the kitchen with my mom while Taylor and my dad set up the backyard so that there was room for people to sit. It wasn’t more than two minutes after I’d stepped into the kitchen offering to help that Amanda came into the room carrying a bouquet of flowers. 

The flowers took me by surprise because my mom already had the bouquet from my dad in a vase on the counter, so I wasn’t sure where these came from or who they were for. After all, the house was going to be full of women today who were moms and could be getting flowers delivered. Setting the flowers down, Amanda handed me the card that was inside them and seeing my name on the front of the envelope I opened it, slipping the card out. 

Inside the card was a slip of paper which listed the flowers as anemones and explained that they represented anticipation and protection. 

Reading the card to myself twice I couldn’t help but start crying, the gesture meaning more than I could explain. The flowers were absolutely perfect and the fact that he sent something so fitting sent a chill down my spine. Amanda sent me a smile as I excused myself for a moment, needing to pull myself together. 

By the time I’d returned to the kitchen, card securely tucked into my pocket, more of my family had arrived and were chatting in the kitchen. Pouring myself a glass of orange juice I listened as my aunt commented on the flowers and how different and pretty they were to my mother, believing they had been sent for her. 

Quickly my mother pointed out her own mother’s day bouquet and my aunt then questioned whether they had been delivered for Amanda’s graduation. When my sister shook her head everyone looked around curiously and after a nod of encouragement from both my mom and sister I spoke up. 

“They were delivered for me.” I explained, a soft blush gracing my cheeks. “A friend sent them for Mother’s Day,” I added, watching as everyone’s faces started to shift processing the implications of my words. 

“You’re pregnant?” It was a family friend who was like an aunt to me that asked the question, and the excitement in her tone forced a beaming smile onto my face. 

“Yeah. I’m pregnant.” I admitted causing the room to burst with a mixture of excitement, disbelief, and concern. Accepting some hugs I tried not to let my emotions become too much. Addressing the more reserved members of my family I spoke as confidently as I could manage. 

“This wasn’t planned and no the father isn’t in the picture. But that’s okay, I’ve made my peace with it and I know it won’t be easy, trust me it has been anything but so far, but I’m excited, I already love this baby so much.” 

After a moment, the rest of my family seemed to come to terms with the announcement and I was pulled into more hugs, causing me to tear up while laughing to myself softly. 

My grandmother was the first to ask if I had any pictures. Nodding, I smiled and opened my phone to show off my baby’s first ultrasound photos. Everyone wanted to know how far along I was and seemed shocked when I admitted that I was almost sixteen weeks along. 

After about fifteen minutes of baby talk, it was my cousin that moved the conversation back to the flowers in a way, asking about who had sent them. 

“Just a friend and one of the guys I work on the podcast with.” I stated softly. I knew that everyone would wonder how many people knew before they did and so I answered the question before it was asked. “He’s the only one besides the people in this house that knows. He was with me when I found out. Actually, he suspected that I was pregnant and insisted on taking me to the doctor. He’s kept me from losing my mind as I processed the news.” 

“And the card?” Laughing, I pulled the card from my pocket, reading it aloud. Everyone was impressed by the fact that he even put the effort in to pick out something beyond the standard carnation and when I explained what the flowers were supposed to mean they ‘awe’d’ commenting on how fitting that was. As expected the next question was about the term dustbunny and I shook my head declaring that there wasn’t really an explanation for it other than that it was hockey lingo that he’d adapted into a nickname for the baby. I mentioned that it was something I loved because it was different and personal and unique to my baby given to it by someone who had been in our corner from the start. 

Now that the news was out there, I couldn’t help but feel relieved that my baby was no longer a secret. It was the perfect way to spend my first Mother’s Day and I couldn’t help but be grateful that Paul made it so easy to share the news by providing a natural transition into the subject. 

Somehow he made everything easier and I was so grateful to have him in my life. 

**Social Media Updates: **

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	6. Chapter 6

“True life is lived when tiny changes occur.” 

From the moment I’d been hired by the podcast, I’d been working on putting together all of the details for a Vegas trip for the NHL awards. Now, after months of hard work, everything was set for the guys to spend a week in Vegas. Our title sponsor for the trip was one of the many hotel-casinos who had reserved a 4 bedroom suite for the podcast hosts as well as a few standard rooms for the camera and production guys. Additionally, all of the media passes for the event were ready to go and I knew the boys had lined up quite a few guests. With everything set and the awards only a week away I was hoping to maybe be able to take a mini-vacation myself at home while they partied it up and got tons of content to last through the summer. 

It had been maybe an hour from when I sent the boys an email with all of the important details for the trip when my phone buzzed with an incoming text from Paul. 

______

So, because I lacked all capability to tell Paul Bissonnette ‘no’ when he asked me to do something, I was currently pulling my suitcase through the Vegas airport at almost midnight the night before the awards. Checking my phone I saw that Paul had texted me one message with the room number and which room in the suite was ours as well as another saying that the rest of the boys had gone out but that he’d be there when I got in. I had previously told him not to wait up for me and had even fought with him when he wanted to come to pick me up. It was completely ridiculous for him to even think about taking an Uber to the airport just to uber back to the hotel. 

Grabbing a cab, it wasn’t long before I had arrived at the hotel and after stopping at the front desk for a key to the room and to make sure the boys hadn’t had any problems with the reservations, I took the elevator upstairs and let myself into a dark and silent suite. Part of me had expected Paul to be up watching tv or something but it was too quiet for that. He’d said that we were staying in the first room on the right and so I quietly headed over, pausing in the doorway when my eyes caught sight of him. 

The only light in the room was coming from the open blinds letting in the city lights and Paul was sprawled out on the bed on his stomach fast asleep. The way the light and shadows highlighted the muscles of his naked back made my body react involuntarily and I took a deep breath trying not to gasp. Reminding myself that this was definitely just the pregnancy hormones getting the best of me, I slipped into the room and closed the door to the living room behind me. 

As quietly as I could, I hung my dress up in the wardrobe and got my pajamas and things for bed out of my suitcase before sneaking into the bathroom to get ready to go to sleep. It was beyond late and with the time change, I was exhausted. Paul was still taking up most of the bed when I stepped out of the bathroom and flipped off the light, using the flashlight on my phone to guide me across the room to close the curtains and then to the edge of the bed. Perched on what little bed was not occupied by a large man, I gently reached out and rubbed my hand over his back trying to stir him just enough that he’d roll over and make room. Getting no reaction I sighed. 

“Paul…are you actually gonna share the bed like you promised or am I stuck sleeping on the couch tonight?” I whispered. Rubbing his back once more I felt his muscles twitch and suddenly his body was moving, arm reaching out to take my hand and pull me into him. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as I settled into his embrace, his solid chest pressed into my back. As his body shifted to surround me further, the hand that had grabbed mine moved to drape over my waist. 

We’d snuggled like this before, but back then I didn’t have a 21-week baby bump protruding from my front. It was clear that in his sleepy state he expected what he was used to before because the moment his arm didn’t drape the way he expected he froze against me. A change in his breathing signaled that he was now actually awake and his hand gently caressed my stomach for a moment. 

“Holy shit Leigh…” His sleep laden voice murmured from behind me. “You…that’s…I didn’t…wow.” Shaking my head at him a little I rolled onto my back so that I could look over at him. As I shifted, Paul reached over to tap the bedside light on, allowing us to actually see each other. 

“It’s called a baby bump Paul…this is kinda what happens when you’re pregnant and the baby starts to get bigger. There’s only so much space in there for the baby to grow otherwise.” His gaze was dark and lazy as our eyes met before he swept a look up and down my body taking in the changes that he’d missed due to living on separate sides of the country. 

“I knew that…” He declared, glaring at me softly. “I just…I don’t know. I haven’t seen you in a few months and I don’t know why but I wasn’t expecting you to be showing. Not like this.” I knew he wasn’t implying that I was fat or anything, just that his brain hadn’t actually processed the changes that my body would undergo during pregnancy. 

“Not so easy to hide anymore huh?” I questioned and he nodded but his eyes hadn’t left my stomach, nor had his hand. 

“Fuck…I…are you okay with me touching?” He asked at least being conscious enough to know that women frequently complained about people touching their bellies. It was clear that he wanted to touch and explore. To make the connection between the baby that we so frequently talked about and how said baby currently existed inside me. Smiling over at him I nodded, though he wasn’t looking and therefore didn’t see it. 

“Go for it,” I assured him. “You are one of the few people I think I can put on my approved bump touch list.” I teased. Part of me had at least expected him to crack a smile at that but I don’t think he was paying attention to my words since the second I gave him permission to touch. 

The way his strong fingers grazed over my belly so gently caused a shiver to run up my spine and I just watched him for a moment before closing my eyes and relaxing. For a few minutes, he just caressed and pressed his palm to my stomach before his fingers dipped down to the edge of my shirt. Peeking up at him I could see the adoration in his eyes as he looked at the way my body had adapted to growing the little boy or girl inside of me. I felt blessed to know that he already loved this baby so much even though he had no real reason to and it made me want to give him as much as I could so far as letting him bond with the baby went. 

“Here…” I breathed, rolling just slightly to adjust my shirt so that it rested just under my breasts, exposing the skin of my stomach to him, stretch marks and all. I knew that touching through clothes was one thing but letting him see the way that my skin had stretched, and letting him touch without that barrier in the way was something else entirely. 

Paul’s hand quickly found its way back to the bump and when he looked up at me again his eyes were moist with tears. Meeting his gaze with concern, I reached over to brush my thumb against his cheek. 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, his body leaning into my touch as much as I had his earlier. “I just…this is incredible. I…I didn’t expect that this would affect me so much.” It was totally understandable for him to have that reaction and I did my best to communicate that to him without words. My own voice was stuck in my throat seeing him get emotional over something that I’d personally gotten used to because it was my new normal. “You…I hope you know that you were beautiful before…but you’re absolutely gorgeous like this. Pregnancy suits you.” The intent behind his words confused me but he was so sure of them that I couldn’t help the flush that came over my entire body. Catching my breath after a moment I glanced over at the alarm clock beside the bed. 

“So…can we go to sleep now…because it’s the middle of the night back home and being pregnant is exhausting.” My words seemed to snap Paul out of his trance. 

“Fuck…of course. I…goodnight Leigh.” His words were spoken with a soft kiss to my temple, but before I could attempt to roll over, Paul had shifted, leaning over me. “Goodnight dustbunny.” He added and for a split second his lips were pressed against my stomach before he was laying back down beside me, a sheepish look on his face. “Didn’t want baby to feel left out.” He mumbled before switching the light back off so that we could all get some sleep. 

Tucked back against his chest, I was nearly off to dreamland when I heard him whisper softly into the room. “I’m here for whatever you and your mama need dustbunny…that’s a promise.” 

__________________________

When I woke the next morning, Paul was still passed out beside me. Gingerly, I slid out of his arms needing first to use the bathroom and then to get some food before the baby decided to protest. After taking care of my bladder needs and slipping on a pair of shorts, I quietly opened the door to the living room wondering if the boys had any food in the kitchen or if they’d eaten out for every single meal since arriving in Vegas. 

Padding softly through the living room around to the little kitchen in the suite, I could hear RA and Grinnell talking softly from over by the patio doors. When I arrived in the kitchen I found a couple of small boxes of cereal as well as a small bottle of milk in the minifridge. Pouring myself a bowl of cereal, I rubbed the remaining sleep from my eyes before moving back to lean against the counter dividing the kitchen and living space while I ate. It was only then that I addressed the crew’s oldest host and our production manager by saying good morning. 

Both quickly returned my greeting but didn’t look over at me right away. However, upon finishing their conversation, they turned to me and it was comical to see the double-take that Mikey did when his eyes saw me. 

“What the fuck is that?” He asked only to be scolded by RA murmuring a ‘dude…’ in his direction. Swallowing the bite of cereal I’d put into my mouth I started laughing at how thrown these two grown men seemed at the sight of a pregnant woman. 

“Um…surprise?” I stated, trying to downplay things in order to not generate a large reaction. 

“Why didn’t Biz fucking tell us he’s gonna be a dad?” Mikey exclaimed, visibly getting worked up and speaking without really thinking about his words. Again RA tried to get him to shut up for a minute but he continued to rant for a moment about how ‘this was a big deal’ and ‘since when did Biz keep secrets like this….’ 

“Michael Grinnell…will you shut up for a minute?” I declared, setting my now empty bowl down on the counter. “Biz didn’t tell you that he’s gonna be a dad because he’s not…” I immediately motioned for him to let me continue but before I could, a voice sounded from my left.

“How far along do you think she is dumbass?” Ryan Whitney chirped as he made his way into the kitchen for his own breakfast. His lack of reaction to what he’d just walked into caught me off guard for a moment before I turned to look at him. 

“How long have you known?” I asked accusatorily. He at least had the courtesy to look guilty as he mumbled that I probably already knew the answer to that. Carding my fingers through my hair, I sighed and shook my head. “You’ve known as long as Paul has…” I was slightly annoyed by that and it clearly showed on my face causing Whit to backpedal. 

“I didn’t _know_ know…” He explained. “Yes…Biz texted me asking if you being sick the way you were was normal and the suspicion was kind of unspoken. He never actually told me that you were though…it was just pretty obvious when the two of you posted scenic pictures when I knew he was taking you to the doctors’. If it was a bug you would have been in bed resting, long drive implies a distraction and it wasn’t hard to figure out from that, that his suspicions had been right.” I couldn’t really be angry about the fact that he’d deduced it based on information obtained before anyone knew for certain that I was pregnant. “Plus…Biz has been different the past few months and it’s pretty obvious why…” He added, gesturing toward my stomach. 

“So….if Biz isn’t the dad…” Mikey jumped back into the conversation, his expression suggesting that he’d been thinking a little too hard about all of this. Suddenly his eyes went wide. “Oh…shit.” He murmured like it had all hit him at once. Needing to take control of the situation back I placed a hand on my stomach, taking a deep breath. 

“Yes. I’m pregnant. No, we’re not talking about the whole paternity situation. Yes, Paul and evidently Whit have known for a few months. I didn’t tell my parents until last month and I’m not ready to go fully public with an announcement yet which is why I hadn’t said anything. Now, if we can just move on…that would be wonderful.” 

Thankfully Whit was able to distract RA and Grinnell with a discussion of setting up for the interviews they were recording before the awards tonight and I was able to slip back to the bedroom, suddenly feeling like I needed a nap even though I’d just woke up. 

I’d been staring out the window, trying to clear my mind and decide what I wanted to do until I had to start getting ready when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and I was pulled back into a firm chest. 

“You okay?” Paul asked, his fingers once again rubbing gentle circles over the expanse of my stomach. Leaning into him I nodded and just focused on his touch and soothing presence. 

“The boys know.” I eventually whispered and I could feel him chuckle softly. 

“I mean…I kind of figured…it only takes one look at you like this.” Feeling his lips press against my hair I sighed. “Plus I could hear Grinnell freaking out. Are you okay with the cat being out of the bag so to speak?” Shrugging I sighed but didn’t say anything. I kind of had to be okay, though it did again bring the fear of the world finding out tonight on national tv to the front of my mind. I could only pray that the dress I’d found would do a sufficient job of hiding my growing stomach in the way that a pair of shorts and a clingy tank top couldn’t. 

Spinning me around Paul pulled me into a hug. We stood like that for a few minutes before there was a knock on the bedroom door with RA calling out that Paul needed to get his ass into gear so they could get started. When he pulled back reluctantly, he kissed the top of my head. 

“I’ll be fine…go,” I assured him. “Dustbunny and I are just gonna lay back down for a little while. I’ll set an alarm to wake me in a couple hours so I can start getting ready for tonight.” 

With one more caress of my bump, Paul retreated to the living room to work and I slipped back into bed, pulling his pillow from his side of the bed to cuddle. With sounds of laughter coming from the next room I quickly drifted off to sleep, hoping that I would wake up more excited for the awards than I currently felt. 

**No Social Media for this Chapter.**


	7. Chapter 7

“When things change inside you, things change around you.” 

A large booming laugh sounded from the next room an hour or so after I’d dozed back off to sleep, waking me immediately. I knew that laugh by heart and cursed myself when butterflies erupted in my stomach at the sound of it. Turning my alarm off, I slipped out of bed, once again reminding myself that it was just the hormones causing all of these crazy feelings and that they weren’t real. Pushing myself to my feet, I felt the butterflies start again, stronger this time, and tears instantly pricked at my eyes. My hand flew to my bump rubbing gently as I stood frozen in place, my mind processing what I’d just felt. That wasn’t some crazy hormonal feeling, that was my baby moving inside of me, a sensation that I’d been waiting weeks to feel. 

The sensation was gone as quickly as it had started until another laugh sounded from the living room. Walking toward the bedroom door, I opened it quietly and stood there just listening and waiting for another laugh, hoping it would make this little girl or boy move again. Though the boys were in the middle of an interview, the moment Paul saw me and the tears rolling down my cheeks he sent me a concerned look and moved to get up. Shaking my head, I motioned for him to continue, now drawing the attention of the rest of the boys and their guest. Keep laughing. I mouthed, causing Paul’s eyebrow to raise in confusion. The story being told continued on and after a minute or two Paul’s laugh sounded through the room again, followed by the rapid flutterings of the baby’s movements. 

I remained in the doorway to the living room until the boys wrapped things up a few minutes later and as soon as they were done recording, Paul was out of his chair and moving over to me. 

“Is everything okay?” He murmured softly and I found myself laughing softly as I nodded. 

“Your laugh woke me up because apparently dustbunny likes it. I just felt the baby move for the first time Paul.” His eyes grew wide as he looked down at me, his hand falling to my waist. 

“Wait what? The baby moved?” He questioned. 

“Yeah… I’ve been waiting to feel it because all the books say you should by 22 weeks and I was beginning to worry that I hadn’t yet.” I knew without him even asking that he was wondering if he’d be able to feel it and I shrugged softly. “It’s not a kick or anything yet…more like a feeling of bubbles or something. It’ll be a few more weeks before someone else could feel but god Paul…it’s incredible.” 

The smile on my face made him smile, though I knew he was slightly disappointed that he couldn’t feel. Hugging me gently, he murmured that he was glad that everything was okay and then looking at the clock murmured for me to go get my shower. 

“Fine…if you insist.” I teased softly, leaning up to kiss his cheek before turning to slip back into our room to gather my things for a shower. 

_____

Half an hour later I was clean, shaven, and moisturized. After quickly blow-drying my hair I returned to the bedroom, smiling when I found a button down shirt laid out with a scratchy handwritten note on top of it.

_Here’s the button up I promised. Also Brie expects you to take your things over to get ready with her just FYI. The boys and I will bring you back some food in a bit but I probably won’t see you until it’s time to go. Enjoy your girl time. _

_Paul_

It made me smile that he remembered our conversation from a few days ago where I’d demanded he bring me a spare button up because none of my own fit anymore and I didn’t want to have to struggle with getting a normal shirt off over completed hair and makeup. 

I was a little surprised that Ryan’s wife, Brie, wanted to get ready together because I actually hadn’t met her yet. Still, I gathered up my makeup bag, hair supplies, dress and sandals and headed across the hall, knocking gently at the bedroom door that Ryan had walked out of this morning. 

Brie was so welcoming as she took my things, hanging my dress over the door before taking the rest into the bathroom where her things were already spread out over the counter. As soon as her hands were free, her arms were wrapped around me in a hug. 

“I’m so glad I finally get to meet you. Ryan has not shut up about you since you started working with them. He’s constantly bragging about the events you’re planning and how revenues have grown already.” She exclaimed, causing me to blush having never been one to take compliments well. As she pulled back her eyes widened for a moment. “And oh my god. The baby. Look at you…you’re glowing.” Her excitement was a little bit overwhelming but nice all the same. 

“I just felt the baby move for the first time so that probably has something to do with it.” I explained. 

“It’s the most incredible feeling isn’t it?” She declared rhetorically and I nodded trying to fight back the tears that were threatening again. 

“Yeah it really is. God I am so emotional lately that it’s driving me crazy.” I admitted, and my confession made her laugh as she nodded in sympathy. 

“I know that feeling well.” Looking over the supplies gracing the counter I realized that her hair was already mostly done and she looked absolutely beautiful. “So..this is your first big event right?” She asked, looking over her shoulder at me. 

“Yep. And I wouldn’t be here if I knew how to tell Biz no. But he’s so goddamn insistent and he’s done so much for me that I guess this is the least I could do.” For a moment I couldn’t read the expression on her face before she turned back to me. 

“We’ll get to all of that…” She trailed off, smirking a bit which scared me just a little. “But first, please tell me that you’ll let me do your hair and makeup.” Neither of those areas were really within my expertise, especially not for something like this so I bit my lip for a moment before sighing. 

“Yes please…I honestly have no idea what I’m doing and I’m already nervous enough about tonight.” Her face was giddy as she quickly looked me over once more, paced out of the room to look at my dress, before returning to plug the curling iron I’d brought into the wall. 

“What are you so nervous about?” She finally asked as she quickly finished up her own hair while waiting for the curling iron to heat up. 

“That the entire world is gonna take one look at me on camera and immediately rumors will be flying about my pregnancy. I mean everyone who matters already knows, and I know I’m going to have to make an announcement eventually because I don’t think I can avoid it working this job, but I want to do it on my terms and not because millions of people see me on the arm of Paul Bissonnette and jump to conclusions. That’s the last thing that either of us need.” Brie was silent through my rant before resting a hand gently on my shoulder. 

“It’s all gonna be fine. You and I can sneak down the red carpet ahead of the guys if we have to and once we’re inside there isn’t anyone who would dare say a word about it even if they did notice.” Her face was reassuring as she took two steps out of the bathroom again before returning and motioning for me to sit on a chair she’d brought in from the living room. “But you’re wearing a maternity dress and your bump isn’t that big so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” She added, quickly sectioning my hair before spraying a portion with heat spray and beginning to curl it. 

She worked in silence on my hair for a few minutes, leaving me to my own thoughts. Now that I was fully awake, my brain started to wander. Brie had mentioned vaguely that we’d get back to the subject of Paul and what she was implying by that made me nervous. Then Grinnell’s assumption about Biz being the baby’s father and Ryan’s comment about Biz being differently lately both popped back into my head and suddenly it felt like I couldn’t breathe. My hands started shaking and didn’t stop until Brie was squatting in front of me, her hands holding mine. 

“Hey…what’s wrong?” She murmured. “Take a deep breath….in…..out….again.” Following her guidance I forced myself to start breathing again though the implications that everyone was making wouldn’t leave my mind. Brie didn’t say anything else right away, letting me try and put my thoughts into words. 

“Sorry….” I whispered, taking a few more deep breaths. “Just fuck…Mikey assumed Paul was the baby’s father and your husband commented on Paul being different lately and just…what does all of that fucking mean?” Brie’s hands were still resting on my own until I finished and then she stood up again. 

“Well…I mean we all know Mikey isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed…” She declared. “So I wouldn’t really read into that. That assumption is probably more on Biz anyway than it is on you.” 

“Still…that assumption is premised on the idea that Biz would even have sex with me…” I trailed off, flushing slightly. 

“What…you don’t think he would?” Brie asked and when she looked down at my face she nearly gasped. “You really don’t think he would…” 

Flushing further, I shrugged. “I’m just…I think it’s clear that I’m not his type okay. We’re talking about the man that has been with models and porn stars…” Ducking my head, I brushed a hand over my bump and sighed. “As much of a man whore as he is, no I don’t think he’d have sex with me. So Mikey’s assumption could not be further off.” 

For a moment it seemed like Brie wanted to push but then she decided it wasn’t a good idea and instead picked the curling iron back up. 

“I think you’re wrong but I’ll drop it at that.” She murmured curling a few more strands of my hair before speaking again. “As far as my husband’s comments go… you have to at least admit that he is different lately because of you.” My face crinkled with confusion, causing Brie to sigh and continue down her train of thought. “Okay so obviously you didn’t know him before he met you…but Ryan and I did and he is so different now. He doesn’t go out as much, doesn’t talk about his hookups as much. Instead, he’s constantly talking about you. You do realize that he spent the entire morning while they weren’t recording talking to Ryan about the baby right? And he’s happier…so much happier than I’ve ever seen him. He cares a lot.” I couldn’t help but think about all of the nights that were spent with Paul on the other end of the phone. But with the time difference I’d assumed that he was just having his fun once I was asleep.

“I know that he cares about the baby…he’s been such a great friend with all of that.” I could see Brie purse her lips from above me before shaking her head. 

“He cares about _you_ too you know…not just the baby.” 

“I mean yeah…we’re friends…” I breathed and Brie got that look on her face that suggested that I was completely daft. 

“Oh…Leigh…I don’t know whether you’re lying to yourself or if you honestly don’t see it.” She mumbled under her breath. Setting the curling iron down for a moment again she leaned against the counter in front of me. “Just…keep an open mind. I know you’re going through a lot but….don’t write things off yet.” 

After a moment’s pause she quickly changed the subject to the baby, what plans I had, when and if I was finding out the sex. She continued curling my hair until there was a knock at the bedroom door and when she called out that it was okay to come in, Grinnell appeared carrying a take out bag from Chick-fil-a and a container of fruit. Brie eagerly grabbed the food from him before shooing him out of the room with a quick thanks. 

I munched on the fruit, somehow knowing that Paul had picked it up specifically for me, while Brie finished my hair. After that, we took five to finish eating and so Brie could start on her own makeup. Scrolling through social media I couldn’t help but laugh seeing the chiclets page’s latest update on Instagram. 

  


Brie was much faster with her makeup than I could probably ever be and so it wasn’t long before she was digging through my bag and her own figuring out what she was going to do to enhance my look for the night. We talked about her and Ryan’s baby boy who was at home with his grandparents and I couldn’t help but smile thinking about that sort of future with my own baby. It was definitely going to be hard, everything she dealt with when Ryan was on the road would be my life all the time but I loved this baby so much that I couldn’t wait. 

By the time she finished with my makeup, we had about ten minutes before we needed to leave and Ryan had already come banging on the door once to insist that we were ready on time. 

Thankfully, with Brie’s help it didn’t take me more than a minute or two to change from the button down and shorts into my dress. With my bump in the way, putting on my shoes took me a little longer but we were still ready to go and grabbing clutches with a couple of minutes to spare. 

Brie left the room ahead of me and I heard her murmur something to the guys but when I stepped out of the room I wasn’t prepared for the reaction I received. Immediately my ears were met with teasing catcalls coming from RA and Whit. When I looked up, Grinnell wasn’t even paying attention but Paul’s eyes were focused directly on me. Brie smirked at me and motioned to the silly little grin on Paul’s face while she worked on fixing her husband’s tie. If asked, I wouldn’t admit that my heart skipped a beat at the way Paul was looking at me, his eyes soft with a twinkle I’d never noticed before. Still, when he didn’t say anything I was worried that he didn’t like the dress or something. 

“So…?” I whispered softly, trying not to bite my lip and ruin my lipstick. Hearing my voice, Paul blinked rapidly for a moment before striding across the room toward me, his hand falling to my hip. 

“Wow…you look wow.” He breathed, dropping a kiss to my forehead as he looked me up and down. “You look incredible.” He eventually added, a lazy, happy grin taking over his face. A warmth spread through my entire body at his words, but before I could comment on how well he cleaned up, Whit was practically dragging us out the door declaring that we were going to be late. 

**Chapter 7 Outfit:**


	8. Chapter 8

“If nothing ever changed there’d be no butterflies.” 

It was a short drive from the hotel to the Mandalay Bay Events Center. Though Paul’s fingers were entwined with mine during the drive, even his touch couldn’t quell the anxiety I felt as the limo slowed to a halt and the door opened. Paul carefully helped me out of the vehicle and his hand rested low on my back as we started toward the red carpet. The moment we stepped onto the red carpet, however, my anxiety reached its peak and I felt my body freeze in terror. The second Paul saw the look on my face he murmured for Brie to take me inside and that they would meet us there. 

By the time the guys rejoined us, Brie had managed to get a glass of water into my hands and she was assuring me that everything was okay. Deep down I knew that we had breezed by the media so quickly and casually that the odds of anyone talking about us were slim. At the same time, I felt guilty that I couldn’t handle the few minutes of formalities of being Paul’s date without feeling like I was going to have a panic attack. 

Paul’s arm rested along the curve of my lower back when he approached and he rubbed up and down soothingly. 

“Sorry that took so long ladies.” He declared like he wasn’t at all fazed by what had happened. Opening my mouth to try and apologize, I was immediately silenced as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. “Don’t. You’re fine. I get it…the media is a lot.” My second attempt at apologizing was also shut down when he declared out loud that we should head down to the floor and take our seats. 

Though he hadn’t said it, I knew Paul was trying to get me to forget about the red carpet so that it didn’t dampen the rest of the evening. After all, we still had the awards themselves as well as the after-party ahead of us. As we made our way to our seats, Paul occasionally stopped to talk to someone he knew, taking a moment to introduce me as his favorite business manager and date for the evening to each person. The more introductions we got through with no one even noticing my baby bump, the more relaxed I became at the thought that maybe it wasn’t as noticeable as I feared. As Paul had assured me through his texts when he invited me, even if it was noticeable, now that we were mostly away from the media, no one seemed likely to bring it up. 

Settled into my seat next to Paul as the awards started I couldn’t help but feel my natural smile returning, the forced smile I had plastered on in the car slowly leaving my face. The first trophy presented was the Calder and it was no surprise when Elias Pettersson was announced as the winner. He’d had such a stellar season and it was really cool getting to see someone so young experience their first career award knowing that it was likely to be the first of many. 

Next came the Lady Byng award, and I couldn’t help the laugh that spilled out of me when Aleksander Barkov commented on there being more fans from Finland than from Florida present. It was a classic hockey chirp and I peeked over at Paul to find that he was looking over at me, a lazy grin on his face. 

The GM of the year award was given to Don Sweeney from the Bruins and I felt Paul squeeze my hand a little tighter as he talked about his premature sons being his inspiration in his acceptance speech. The moment was heavy for me personally and it was clear that it was for Paul as well by the change in his breathing. As soon as Jason Zucker finished his speech for the King Clancy Award, Paul and Whit moved to slip backstage to prepare for their presentation and Brie slid over a few chairs to sit next to me. 

The Norris was given to Mark Giordano of the Calgary Flames and I smiled as he thanked his wife and kids for always putting a smile on his face after a rough night. Hockey is about family after all and it’s always nice to see more of the behind the scenes people get the credit they deserve. Following the presentation of the Norris, Auston Matthews was named as the cover athlete for NHL20 and I couldn’t help but cringe at the fact that he had sweat through his suit. 

Paul and Whit presented the Masterton Trophy, and knowing the struggles that Paul had with depression toward the end of his own career it seemed fitting. The award was given to Robin Lehner and his quote on the fact that being mentally ill doesn’t mean you’re mentally weak stuck with me because it was something that could apply to all of us at times. I could see Paul almost getting emotional on stage and it made it hard for me to fight back my own hormonal tears. 

The Selke was awarded to O’Reilly and the Jack Adams to Trotz while we waited for the guys to return to their seats, Brie sliding back to her own after sending me a smile and squeezing my hand gently. As Paul settled back in beside me I felt the baby shift, a soft flutter followed by pressure against my bladder. Thankfully the show was more than halfway over and while I wished the baby would shift off of my bladder it wasn’t something I couldn’t handle. 

Any thoughts of my bladder were quickly silenced as a discussion about Anderson Whitehouse’s prior meeting with Carey Price was brought up as the next segment for the NHL Fan Choice Feel Good Moment. I remembered having cried the first time I saw it and it was clear that I was going to cry again as tears filled my eyes when Anderson was brought onto the stage and the presenter cued up a video from Carey Price himself. 

“Carey is here.” I leaned over and whispered to Biz who looked at me like I was crazy until the man himself appeared on the stage to surprise his biggest fan. The second the two embraced the tears poured and Paul had to reach over with his pocket square in an attempt to prevent me from completely ruining my makeup. At the same time, he was openly crying as well and my heart panged once more knowing that this was affecting him as much as it did me. Men not being afraid of showing emotion was something I loved and was clearly just another factor that drew me to appreciate Paul as a coworker and friend. As the whole audience gave them a standing ovation, Paul’s hand drifted once more to my back rubbing gently. 

The Vezina, Messier, and Willie O’Ree awards were some of the last of the night and as each was presented, my growing need to use the bathroom lingered in the back of my mind, slowly becoming more urgent. 

It wasn’t at all surprising that Nikita Kucherov won both the Hart and Ted Lindsay trophies for MVP after the season he’d had and I laughed softly as Paul whispered that they were working on scoring him for an interview at some point. As the award show concluded, we lingered in our seats for a moment before Paul moved to track down more people to talk to. He was such an extrovert that it honestly made me cringe sometimes and as he engaged himself in another conversation I moved to steal Brie from Ryan. 

“I need to use the bathroom asap. Come find it with me?” I requested. With Ryan aware of where we were, the two of us headed off and by the time I finished using the bathroom given the bump and the dress, Ryan had texted that the guys were waiting for us in the lobby so that we could head to the after-party. 

___

By the time we got through Vegas traffic to the after-party, music was already playing on the rooftop bar, alcohol was flowing, and trays of food were being passed around. Leaving me with Ryan and Brie, Paul went to grab drinks for the four of us and when he returned he passed me a cup murmuring that I should just trust him. There was never a doubt that I trusted him so while I had expected to be drinking water all night, I tried the drink Paul had provided and immediately I was hooked as a sweet fruity tang hit my tongue. Chatting with Ryan and Brie for a few minutes about the awards, it wasn’t long until someone approached to chat with the guys. For almost an hour I just stood, tucked into Paul’s side as he chatted with various players about the podcast, hockey, and any shared histories. 

Eventually though, my back started to ache and my feet hurt. I didn’t want to interrupt so I didn’t say anything at first, but eventually, Paul leaned down to whisper in my ear that I should go sit on one of the many couches for a bit and just rest. Nodding, I sent him a soft smile before bowing out of the conversation and heading across the room toward an unoccupied couch. 

I’d been just people watching for about ten or fifteen minutes when another woman approached. 

“Mind if I join you?” She questioned and after assuring her she could my brain finally pieced together who it was that had joined me. Vero Fleury. While Flower hadn’t been nominated for any awards tonight, clearly they had decided to take advantage of their residence in Vegas to come hang out with friends and enjoy the party the NHL put on. 

Though I knew who she was, she introduced herself after a moment. 

“Leigh Thompson,” I replied. “I’m here with Biz.” I clarified knowing that she was probably wondering how I made my way into a private party. 

“Biz’s date…how’d you get wrapped into that?” She teased and I laughed in response knowing that question was beyond accurate. 

“I’m the business manager for the podcast and he knows I owe him,” I responded my tone light. “I just don’t owe him enough to endure a sore back and achy feet the entire night,” I added, causing her to laugh softly. For a moment I could feel her eyes on me and she shifted a bit closer so she didn’t have to speak as loudly. 

“I remember those days.” She murmured. “It’s all so worth it though.” She assured me and realizing that she had noticed my bump I nodded. 

“I sure hope so. Because this little one is wreaking havoc on my body already.” I replied. “Don’t get me wrong…I love them. But single parenthood is hard.” For just a moment I let my hand brush over my bump before resting it at my side again. 

“I can only imagine.” Vero murmured and instead of dwelling on that she pulled her phone out of her clutch, opening it to pictures of her girls and their newborn son. For the next little bit, I chatted with her about what to expect with a newborn, the joys and hardships that being a parent brought. I mentioned having to figure out how to make a nursery look like a nursery without being able to paint or hang more than a few things on the walls and Vero immediately jumped into suggestions. 

Eventually, Marc-Andre came over to join her and after pushing back my star-struck expression, he chatted about his son and daughters before diving into some stories I could use against Paul if I ever needed them. It wasn’t long before I was laughing with the two of them and had lost track of time. It had been nearly an hour since I had sat down before Paul appeared beside me, his brown eyes just a little glassy from the alcohol he’d consumed so far. 

With Paul insisting that there was someone he wanted to introduce me to, I was pulled away from the couch…but not before exchanging cell info with Vero who had insisted that I reach out if I had any questions or just needed someone else to talk to about everything that was rapidly changing in my life. She added that she would send me product suggestions and ideas for the nursery once she was home and had more time to check some things out. I was absolutely interested in whatever advice she had to give because it had been almost two decades since my mom had my sisters and having a baby was certainly different now than it had been then. 

With Paul’s guiding hand on my back again, any unease I’d been feeling from being by myself vanished. Crossing the room, Paul immediately butted his way into a conversation. 

“Sid…this is who I wanted you to meet.” He declared and instantly a flush crossed my cheeks as I realized that I was now standing in front of the first player I’d ever had a crush on. “Sid. This is our business manager Leigh. She’s a lifelong pens fan.” A million different thoughts flooded through my body, the first of which being that I needed to kill Paul for not giving a girl some warning. Instead, though I did my best to compose myself, reaching out a hand to shake Sid’s outstretched one. 

Sid was gracious as always, immediately inquiring about how I’d picked the pens as a team and after responding that it was just kind of what happens when you’re born in Pittsburgh he laughed and nodded, his familiar giggles even better in person than they are on video. Pausing, I commented on how I needed to thank him because it was his being drafted that had gotten me through some of the hardest times in my life and while the rest of the conversation was honestly a bit of a blur, at the end of it, Paul insisted that I take a picture with Sid for posterity’s sake. 

Sid was subsequently pulled away and immediately I leaned into Paul’s chest, trying to quell the rapid beating of my heart. 

“I hate you. Give a girl some warning next time.” I mumbled, causing Paul to laugh. 

“Do you hate me too much to dance with me?” He inquired, his gaze soft as he looked down at me. The song had just switched to something slow and without even really thinking about it, my hand accepted Paul’s extended one letting him lead me out to the dance floor. 

Swaying softly, his hands fell to my waist and mine drifted to link behind his neck. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” He questioned softly. Nodding in response, I bit back a yawn. “Good I’m glad.” He added. “Thank you for tonight. I know this isn’t really your scene but it means the world to me that you agreed to come.” We danced until the song came to a close and after talking with a few more people Paul asked if I was ready to head out. 

Back at the hotel, Paul helped me with the zipper on my dress before disappearing into the bathroom to change from his suit. After changing, we readied for bed in a comfortable silence and then slid into bed together, Paul’s arms wrapping back around me, his hands stroking over my belly until my eyes couldn’t stay open any longer. Even more so than before, I felt safe, warm, and cared about while cuddled against his 6’2” frame. It was a feeling that was welcome but terrifying all at the same time. 

**Chapter 8 Social Media: **


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nsfw content ahead.

The early morning sun was peeking through the curtains as something stirred me from sleep. It wasn’t until I had blinked a few times that I became cognizant of the pair of lips pressing kisses over my shoulder blades and the firm length of Paul’s cock pressing into my thigh. Immediately a million red flags went up in my brain but the feeling of Paul’s hand drifting from my stomach down to the waistband of my underwear caused my brain to short circuit. 

“Can’t believe you don’t think I want you.” He whispered, his hips flexing against mine as he slid one of his calves between my own. “You’re fucking gorgeous, smart, funny, loving.” Each descriptive word was punctuated by another kiss to my bare skin and I couldn’t help the whimper that slipped from my lips. 

“Paul…” I breathed, not sure myself whether my intent was to tell him to stop or to encourage him to keep going. This was wrong on so many levels but at the same time, my hormones were going crazy and they were going crazy for this man. 

“What sweetheart? Did you really think you wouldn’t wake me with all of the shifting and moaning you were doing?” He questioned, his voice deeper than before as his mouth shifted to the shell of my ear. “You must have been dreaming about something good…” He teased. “Dreaming about me?” He inquired and though I couldn’t remember what I had been dreaming about, I now realized the wetness that had flooded my core creating a sticky feeling between my thighs. 

With Paul’s hips still rocking against mine, it was impossible not to let out another moan. It had been so long since I had been wanted and I was at the stage of my pregnancy where my body was screaming to be touched. 

“Need you to tell me you want this Leigh.” Paul groaned. “Need your permission to touch you.” Without my brain actually engaging, a soft ‘yes’ slipped from my throat, my body arching into Paul’s. Now that the offer was on the table I needed to know if the man was as good in bed as he claimed to be. 

The second he gained consent, Paul’s fingers slipped from their place at my hips, down to where I needed him most. 

“Fuck…you’re so wet.” He hissed, his fingers sliding easily over my flesh as he urged my clit out from under its hood. “You need me as bad as I need you, huh gorgeous?” He rambled. Words were not a thing my brain was able to form as I just focused on the way Paul’s touch was making me feel. Instead, my body just melded to his, silently encouraging him to continue everything that he was doing. 

“Need to be inside you. Can I?” He questioned, his hands making me whine as he pulled them away to shift them to push at the fabric of my underwear. 

“Paul…please.” I managed to gasp and without another word, Paul maneuvered our bodies to slide into me from behind. The stretch of my body around his cock ached for just a moment before I relaxed around him. His breathing was heavy in my ear as he forced himself to remain still while my body adjusted. It was only after I nodded that I was good that his hips moved once more, his body setting a steady and gentle rhythm of movement inside me. 

Despite the lazy pace, my body was buzzing with pleasure. Everything about this felt incredible and I couldn’t believe that it was all real after denying that things between us had been shifting since I found out about the baby. The sound of Paul’s murmurings and grunts in combination with his easy movements inside of me was quickly pushing me closer and closer to climax. The way his body felt against mine was like we were made to fit together and I cried out as he hit a particularly sensitive spot inside of me. 

“You feel so incredible. I’m so close.” Paul groaned against me. “Please tell me you’re close.” He added and for a moment I could feel that familiar warmth and tension starting to spread inside of me, ready to crest and send me flying. It was right there….close enough to touch. 

And then suddenly…I woke up. 

My skin was drenched with sweat and my heart was racing but it felt like a cold bucket of water had been dumped on me as I let out a shaky breath. Glancing behind me, Paul was snoring loudly, his left hand pressed against my bump while his right rested under my head. Tears pricked at my eyes as I realized it had all just been a dream and I slowly shifted out from under Paul’s arm to retreat to the bathroom, quickly checking to ensure that my movements hadn’t disturbed him. 

Of course it was a dream. Of course it wasn’t real. My hormones had been so crazy lately that of course it was all just some crazy fantasy. 

But it had felt so real and I hated myself for that. 

Staring at my reflection in the mirror I tried to tell myself that it was just the hormones, that there wasn’t anything else at play. Paul and I were just coworkers and friends and that was all we would ever be. Any thoughts to the contrary were just childish daydreams. 

Knowing that I couldn’t crawl back into bed with him, not right now…I cleaned myself up a bit and slipped out into the living room and onto the porch to watch the sun rise over the strip. I had to pull myself together and forget about that dream…because if I didn’t things would get awkward and I risked losing one of the best things in my life right now. And losing Paul…that was something that I was certain I couldn’t handle. 


	10. Chapter 10

Paul’s POV

“Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.” 

Something had been different with Leigh since the awards but I couldn’t put my finger on what had changed or why. We still talked almost every day but where before she would be an open book, now it seemed like a glass wall was between us. Knowing that she would reach out if she needed me, I came to the conclusion that it was something to do with the pregnancy and tried not to dwell on it. 

Hopefully, this trip would make not dwelling a little easier. Thanks to some networking at the Awards and a little help from CCM, we’d finally landed our white whale for the podcast. And not only had we secured Crosby, but we’d also gotten MacKinnon as well. Having arrived in Nova Scotia yesterday, Whit and I were slotted to face off against the local duo in a round of golf, dinner on the line, before sitting down to record the interviews. 

It was a gorgeous June day on the course, and I was absolutely buzzing. This was potentially the best game of golf I’ve ever played in my life. But before we had even finished the front half of the course I was already being accused of being a sandbagger…fucking ridiculous. Nate was getting all sorts of worked up while Sid just laughed saying they’d have to wait and see what the back half brought. 

Needless to say, the second half didn’t go as well as the first…the damn yips taking over. Though we’d had the lead and secured dinner, for some reason Whit felt like giving the losers a second chance to redeem themselves so it was determined that we were only up 1 hole with two remaining. Whit came up just short for birdie leaving us square to start the 18th hole. 

Just as we reached the final tee, my phone rang, Leigh’s picture filling my screen. If it had been anyone else I would have ignored it but there was no way I could ignore her so I grabbed my phone and stepped slightly away as I answered. 

“What’s up?” I questioned. “We’re on the 18th hole with Sid and Nate.” Before she even responded I could hear the hitch in her breath and my heart raced with concern for why she would be crying, though lately, it didn’t take much to make her cry…pregnancy hormones. 

“I forgot.” She admitted, her watery voice cracking. 

“It’s fine. What’s up?” I repeated my question, my stomach twisting as I waited for her answer. 

“It’s a girl.” She whispered. Immediately my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

“What?” The word slipped out while my brain was rushing to process. 

“Dustbunny…she’s a girl.” I had totally forgotten that Leigh had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for today. Without even realizing it, tears had pooled in my eyes and I let out a shaky laugh as I tried to blink them away. Deep down I knew that she was hoping for a girl and so I knew just how much this news meant to her. 

“That’s incredible.” I finally managed my throat tight. “Congratulations.” Though the concept of her really having a baby had become more concrete for me in Vegas seeing her bump, now it really did feel real. In just a few months there would be this little human who looked like her mom hanging around and the thought of that was almost too much. 

With Whit calling my name from the course, I signaled for him to give me just a minute but it was clear that Leigh heard it and she murmured that I should get back to the game. But before she hung up she made one final statement. 

“You can tell the guys if you want. And uh…let them know I’ll make a public announcement in the next couple days but to keep it to themselves until then please.” 

“Course.” I murmured, my brain still operating mostly on autopilot as it worked over the news she’d just dropped on me. “I uh…I’ll talk to you and dustbunny later.” 

“Yeah.” She agreed. “Now go have fun.” She added just before the line went dead. Frantically I tried to pull myself together, wiping at my eyes and pocketing my phone.

It was my turn up at the tee and as I tried to focus, laughter came at me from all directions. Whether it was the laughter or the thought of Leigh and her daughter racing through my mind, as I swung at the ball I sliced it way left and the laughter took full force. 

“Fuck off okay,” I mumbled, moving to sit on a bench, my nails scraping over my scalp. 

“What the fuck was that?” Whit demanded. “You take one phone call and make the worst shot of the day?” There was nothing but silence as we made our way down to the green and as we waited for Sid to putt Whit looked over at me. “Everything okay?” He asked, voice calmer. “I’m assuming that was Leigh.” 

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Everything’s good.” Whit looked at me skeptically before taking his turn and after sinking his putt for the win he paused. 

“Okay, Biz…spill.” He stated, leaning against his club. “You’ve been all hyped up all day and now you’re quiet. What was that call about?” 

“She’s having a girl.” I breathed, tossing my club back in the bag before reaching for a bottle of water to try and calm my still racing heart down. 

“Who’s having a girl?” Nate inquired, clearly confused by the statement. 

“Leigh. Our business manager.” Whit explained. “That’s awesome, I’m sure she’s over the moon.” 

“Wait…she’s pregnant?” Sid asked, having obviously paid no mind to her growing bump when they met just a week or so ago. 

“Yeah. It’s complicated.” I expressed. “And she is over the moon. She was crying over the phone.” I added, once again scratching my head. It was left unspoken, but not unnoticed by Whit that I had been crying over the news too and we made our way over to a little cafe to record both interviews, my mind gradually refocusing as I focused back in on hockey and the world surrounding it. 

~~~

It wasn’t until we were a few drinks into a delicious dinner courtesy of Sid and Nate that Leigh was brought up as conversation again. 

It had happened casually, Sid inquiring as to what we had upcoming for the podcast. Whit went into a ramble on the secret project we’d been working on for months, a Pink Whitney vodka, and how we had a launch party for that planned for Labor Day weekend. Then RA brought up how each of us was working to pick up some of the management job duties so that Leigh could have a proper maternity leave when the time arose. That triggered Nate inquiring about the whole baby thing and I quickly had to vaguely explain that Leigh wasn’t with the baby’s father and that we were close friends because she’d been with me in Arizona when she found out. 

We’d just downed another round of drinks when Whit threw the first real punch. 

“So Biz….when are you going to tell her you’re in love with her?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…we’re just friends.” I lied, doing everything I could to keep my facial expressions neutral. 

“That’s bullshit and everyone else can see it besides the two of you.” He tossed back. “You look at her like she’s the goddamn stanley cup. I haven’t seen you even look at another woman in months. If you aren’t talking about work you’re talking about Leigh and the baby so stop playing. You’re in love with her.” 

If it weren’t for the drinks I’d already consumed I probably wouldn’t have admitted to anything. But with the drinks, I felt my palms start to sweat and my filter let a few too many thoughts slip through. 

“Of course I love her,” I mumbled. “She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s absolutely stunning, and she has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen. She’s handled everything thrown at her with far more grace than I ever could have and she’s going to be an absolutely incredible mom.” Downing the rest of my last drink I sighed heavily. “But we’re just friends and it’s going to stay that way.” 

“So you love her and you obviously love her baby…what’s the fucking problem?” Whit pushed. 

“The problem is that she deserves more. Better.” At those words, every head at the table turned to look at me. 

“What the fuck does that mean?” RA questioned, his tone brusque. 

“It means that she could do so much better than me. I don’t exactly have the best reputation with women or in general. She deserves someone that can match her in intelligence and who won’t fucking stain her name with his own. She deserves someone who isn’t mentally fucked up…who doesn’t experience episodes where he can barely take care of himself let alone her and the baby. She deserves stability.” 

After spilling out all of the reasons why friends was all we were ever going to be, I expected some resistance, what I didn’t expect was Whit to bust out laughing at me. Glaring at him I clenched my jaw and he just shook his head. 

“You’re a fucking moron Paul. You’re making excuses as to why you aren’t good enough for her and she’s making excuses as to why she’s not good enough for you when in reality you’re perfect for each other.” 

“What are you talking about?” I pressed, swirling the ice in my glass aimlessly. 

“I’m talking about the fact that she told Brie she didn’t think that you’d ever even have sex with her because she’s not your type. She minimizes anything you feel for her proclaiming that it’s just the baby you’re attached to. She thinks that all you’d ever want to be is Uncle Paul so how could you possibly want to pursue more when a relationship with her would come with the baggage of a baby that’s not yours. She’s just as insecure as you are….but I guarantee you that the way you’re shaking your head about the things she’s worried about would be the same way she’d react to the things you’re worried about.” 

It baffled me to think that Leigh thought I wouldn’t want her. At the same time, I couldn’t help but wonder if that expression meant that she actually did want me. For a while, conversation traveled back to less serious topics but before we headed back to the hotel for the night Whit pulled me aside one more time. 

“Look I get you have your own concerns and that you’re worried about unnecessarily dumping something else onto her plate but don’t let either of those fears keep you from something that could be great. Now may not be the right time, but I’ve seen the two of you together and you both bring out the best parts of each other…so just be patient and things will work out like they’re supposed to.” 

It wasn’t until I was settled into bed that I was able to watch the ultrasound video Leigh had sent me. Between that and dinner’s conversation, the moment that I closed my eyes, too many thoughts, thoughts of Leigh and the baby she was carrying, filled my mind making sleep impossible. Was it really possible that she felt the same way I did? Did I want to play a role more than Uncle in this baby’s life? Was she ready to move on after having her heart crushed not once, not twice, but three times? 

~~~

Just like she had said, Leigh dropped her pregnancy announcement as we were leaving Nova Scotia. Swiping through the photos I couldn’t help but be mesmerized at the way her bump had grown in the short time since I’d seen her last. She was very obviously pregnant now and though her photos only barely showed her face it was easy to see how much pregnancy suited her and how she was glowing because of it. 

Unsurprisingly the announcement garnered some attention both positive and negative. There were people both in her personal life and around the league that were absolutely thrilled for her. Then there were people that had very much jumped to conclusions as she expected they would and though there really wasn’t anything I could do, I was angry that I couldn’t protect her from their harsh words and suspicions. If I thought she’d let me, I’d chew out every idiot on the internet but deep down I knew that kind of attention would only make things worse. Instead, I focused on distracting her away from that content, asking questions about her plans for a nursery while trying to hide the feelings that were getting harder and harder to suppress. 

By the time her birthday arrived in the second week of July, I was determined to do something special for her. Though we were once again on opposite sides of the country I had been planning for her birthday since we left Vegas. In addition to sending flowers, I’d booked her a pregnancy massage session hoping to help alleviate some of the aches and pains she’d been complaining of. It didn’t seem like much to me but when she called after her appointment raving over how much better she felt, it was evident that my gesture was appreciated. Though I didn’t generally make posts for others on their birthdays, I felt compelled to share a few photos of the woman who had brightened my life up just by being a part of it. It was a little sappy but if anyone deserved it, it was her. 

Though we talked almost daily and her selfies came more frequently as dustbunny continued growing, I still found myself counting the days until I would see her in person next. And to be frank, it couldn’t come soon enough. I was completely screwed…but to be honest there was a part of me that knew that the moment I first laid eyes on her. 

**Chapter 10 Social Media:**

  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

In my mind, there was absolutely zero reason why I needed to be dragged to the Jersey shore when it was 80 degrees outside and I was 31 weeks pregnant. The guys had all disagreed though and refused to let me skip out on the Pink Whitney Launch Party. Still, I was the last to arrive having chosen to drive while everyone else flew in earlier in the day. Dropping my weekend bag in the bedroom where Paul’s bag was, I plopped down onto the bed, already ready to sleep even though it wasn’t even dinner time yet. I was now at the stage of pregnancy where I was hardly sleeping because I couldn’t get comfortable and because my daughter was shifting onto my bladder every time I did manage to get comfortable. I was exhausted and cranky and everyone else would just have to deal with it because they weren’t the ones who had grown to the size of a whale. 

Just as I had laid down though, my phone buzzed, Paul’s message reading that I should come up to the rooftop deck when I arrived because that was where all of them were. As much as I didn’t want to, I knew that I would never hear the end of it if I didn’t so after struggling to hoist myself off of the bed, I waddled up the stairs hoping to say hi and then return back inside where at least there was air conditioning. Upon reaching the roof, my eyes went wide from shock. Pink balloons were tied around the railings and a stack of presents was on the picnic table. 

“What in the world?” I found myself mumbling as a cheer took over the group at the sight of me. 

“It’s a baby shower.” Grinnell voiced. “Well sorta.” Immediately my eyes filled with tears at the fact that they had even thought to put anything together for me. 

“Don’t cry.” Paul murmured, appearing beside me, his hand falling to my lower back as he leaned down to kiss the top of my head. “It’s just a little something. No big deal.” He insisted. He guided me to sit in one of the more comfortable chairs, quickly handing me a bottle of water. As the stack of presents was moved to the ground beside me, I could feel Paul’s eyes on my body. The weight of his gaze made me uncomfortable because the last thing I needed was more people taking note of how large I was. 

My focus was shifted when a present was set on top of my bump by Whit and everyone settled back into chairs to watch me open them. By the end of my work baby shower, it was clear that my little girl was going to be decked out in spittin chiclets merchandise. The guys had gifted me everything from onesies to hats to matching pink denim jackets for the pink whitney girls. Additionally, there was a stack of children’s books and a plush hockey stick along with a few other toys. It was all so incredibly sweet and I felt so loved, even if I was still annoyed at them as sweat gathered along every crease of my skin. Just when I thought we were done, Paul handed me one more present and I opened it to find the softest stuffed rabbit. 

“A bunny for dust bunny.” I breathed, tearing up once more. “Thank you,” I added, directing the comment at all of the guys though my eyes stayed locked on Paul’s. Leaning down, he moved to pull me into a hug and as he stood back up his hand rested against the side of my bump for just a moment. Almost immediately though, a sharp kick resounded from inside me, directed right at Paul’s hand and his eyes went wide. His hand didn’t move right away and a second and then third kick quickly followed the first. 

“That’s…” Paul said, his voice suddenly tight. 

“Okay, little one that’s enough,” I replied, my hand falling to my stomach right beside Paul’s. “I know you just wanted to say hi but that’s mama you’re beating up in there.” Though Paul pulled his hand back, a look of shock remained on his face. 

“Is that the first time you’ve felt a baby kick?” I asked him, reaching my hand out for him to pull me to my feet because I had been sitting too long and needed to stretch. He nodded, still at a loss for words, and I smiled drawing his hand back to my stomach to see if it would make dust bunny kick again. It was clear she sensed the new touch because she once again responded immediately, her tiny feet shifting inside of me. 

“Fuck.” Paul cursed, his eyes wet by the time he finally pulled his hand away. Seeing his reaction to her movements was a moment I doubted I’d forget any time soon but those emotions were quickly quashed by the feeling of the sun beating down on me. 

“Alright…it’s time for me to go back inside. It’s too darn hot out here.” I explained. “And I don’t want to hear a word about it. When you guys are heavily pregnant during the summer, then you can throw around chirps. 

______

Propped up in bed later that night, I watched as Paul lay with his head on my thigh, talking to and pressing the occasional kiss to my bump. It was so obvious that he was going to be completely wrapped around her finger once she was born if he wasn’t already and for the first time in weeks I felt an unknown tension slip out of my body. 

“You’re incredible you know…” Paul whispered, lifting his head just a bit to look up at me. When my eyebrow quirked in response, Paul leaned up a little more. “I mean you’re growing another person inside of you right now. You’re providing her protection and food and oxygen and soon she’ll become her own little entity. It’s incredible.” 

“Women do this all of the time,” I replied, sure it was cool and pretty incredible but it was how nature worked so it wasn’t like I was doing anything that was any more special than any other mother. 

“That may be true but it’s still incredible.” Paul insisted. “Only a bit longer until she’s here.” He mused, his fingers tracing over the area where my little girl had just kicked, having watched the way my belly flexed because of her tiny feet. 

“Don’t remind me.” I sighed, biting gently at my lower lip. 

“What’s wrong Leigh? I thought you’d be so ready for her to be here?” He asked, his hand sliding to lace his fingers with mine. 

“I am ready for her to be here.” I insisted. “I’m just not ready for the whole labor thing.” 

Paul’s face went pensive, his fingers just tracing patterns against my own. 

“I mean you’re going to have your mom there right?” He questioned causing me to let out an even bigger sigh. 

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “My mother is the queen of all worriers and I don’t know if having her there would help or just cause me more stress.” This wasn’t the first time I’d thought about this and time and time again I’d come to the same conclusion. “I guess I’m just going to be on my own.” Paul was silent for a minute, multiple emotions shifting across his face. 

“Is there someone you’d want to have there?” He eventually inquired, his voice barely audible. Hints of a frown appeared on my face as what seemed impossible crossed my mind once more. It wasn’t something I’d ever ask, not after everything. “Leigh…” Paul trailed off. “Do you want me there when she’s born?” Weakly I nodded and Paul immediately sat up, pulling me against his chest as best he could. 

“You make me feel calm,” I mumbled into his shoulder. “You make me feel like I can do anything.” My voice dropped significantly as I started crying into his shoulder, all of the overwhelming thoughts bubbling over the edge. “I can’t imagine doing it without you.” With his lips pressed against my temple and his hand rubbing up and down my back, eventually, I regained control of my emotions. 

“I’ll make some calls in the morning okay.” He promised. “I’ll do everything in my power to be there.” With what felt like an elephant-sized weight lifted off of my shoulders I let Paul shift the two of us into our usual sleeping position, one of his knees pressed between mine as his hand rested against my stomach and his body spooned behind me providing a welcome support to my aching back. 

______

When I woke, the sun was peeking through the bedroom curtains. Reaching for my phone I discovered that it was nearly 8am. Needing to pee, I slipped out from under Paul’s arm and moved to the bathroom. This was the first time in over a month I had slept through the night and it didn’t take a genius to figure out just why that was. 

Slowly making my way downstairs, I found Whit sitting at the counter with a mug full of coffee in front of him. 

“Want some breakfast?” I whispered planning on making up a few eggs for myself because I hadn’t had my multiple middle of the night snacks and I was starving. With the launch party scheduled from 12-4pm, I knew everyone would need to get moving sooner rather than later. A large breakfast for everyone was soon made up, and after eating, I made my way back upstairs to shower and get ready while the guys cleaned up the kitchen. 

I’d slipped into my swimsuit before throwing on a maxi dress. Not long after my hair was straightened and I’d put on just some light makeup, certain that anything more would just melt off my face from the sun. However, there was still one task I needed to take care of and it happened to be the most difficult. 

Twenty minutes later, I was precariously perched on the edge of the tub which contained an inch or so of water when Paul knocked on the door. 

“The guys are ready to go.” He called out through the wood. 

“I need a few more minutes.” I declared, my voice exasperated as I attempted to lean forward to drag the razor along the skin of my legs. After a moment the door gave way and Paul stepped into the small bathroom. 

“What are you…?” He trailed off before quickly shaking his head. 

“Don’t look at me like that okay,” I grumbled. “This is not easy with little miss in the way,” I complained. Another slow pass of the razor up my leg almost sent me tumbling into the tub. 

“Give it here,” Paul demanded. 

“I am quite capable.” I insisted, my stubbornness showing. 

“Leigh just give me the damn razor before you hurt yourself,” Paul repeated, his large frame moving to sit on the lid of the toilet seat. 

“You don’t even know what you’re doing.” I continued, struggling once more to reach my ankles. “I’d rather not have cuts everywhere.” 

Paul ultimately won this battle, and soon I was sitting on the toilet seat while Paul balanced on the edge of the tub, his hands gently holding each of my legs in turn as he slowly and carefully pulled the razor blades along my skin. It was such an intimate action that I struggled not to shiver under his touch. When he was done, he dried my legs off before pulling me to my feet, and after a moment, my sandals were dropped in front of me so all I had to do was slide into them. 

“Now are you ready?” He murmured softly, his gaze soft but teasing. 

“I mean I guess so.” I sighed although today was even hotter than yesterday had been and I was not looking forward to melting under the sun. The guys complained about how long I had taken as I walked into the living room and after flipping them off I grabbed the beach bag I had packed before waddling my way out to the van New Amsterdam had sent. 

____

The Jersey shore was pumping and alcohol was flowing by the time we finally arrived at the beach. Representatives from New Amsterdam met us in a staff tent and it was explained that the guys and drink would be introduced and then they would just have to mingle, chat and take pictures with fans who were trying the drink for the first time. While they did the official things, I sat in a shaded tent trying to keep my water intake up. Soon though, the guys returned and urged me to come out and socialize with people because apparently, people wanted to talk to me too. I wasn’t sure how much of that I was buying but complaining hadn’t seemed to be doing me much good so I went along with things, walking around the beach to talk to people. 

Soon, the guys were pulled into a beach volleyball game. With Paul having tossed his shirt off into the sand at some point, I was met with an eyeful that sent my body temperature spiking even higher. Needing to cool down, I dumped my things somewhere safe and made my way down into the ocean, letting the cool water lap at my skin as it helped make the heat a little less unbearable. 

The heat was back full force though as soon as I climbed out of the ocean and slipped back into my dress and shoes. Running back into Paul I was pulled into the conversation he was having with a group around him and soon I found myself leaning against his chest, his arms wrapped lightly around my waist. As the conversation continued, I closed my eyes and just tried to relax, feeling fatigued and overwhelmingly hot. 

“Leigh?” Paul’s voice filtered through to my ears and I hummed in response. “I called your name multiple times and you didn’t respond…are you okay?” He questioned. 

“Tired. Headache. Hot.” I mumbled and immediately Paul excused us from the group of fans surrounding us. I was led into a tent and Paul disappeared but when he returned I found myself being helped back into the same van as earlier. “Hmm?” I questioned, full thoughts not really forming in my brain right now. 

“Taking you back to the house before you pass out from heat exhaustion,” Paul explained and it wasn’t much longer before he was leading me into the beach house, his hands providing additional balance support as I moved into our bedroom. Already the air conditioning felt wonderful and the feeling of softness along my entire body took the edge off of the achiness that lingered everywhere. 

I must have fallen asleep because the sun was no longer pouring through the window when I next opened my eyes. A bottle of water and some strawberries were sitting on the bedside table. I was finishing off the bowl when Paul appeared in the doorway, concern etched into his expression. 

“Feeling better?” He asked. 

“Yeah. Thanks.” I replied, rubbing my hand gently over my bump and smiling when I felt my little girl shift in response. 

“Why didn’t you speak up sooner?” He wondered as he moved to sit beside me. 

“I told you guys for weeks that it wasn’t a good idea and no one listened to me,” I mumbled. Immediately concern shifted to guilt and Paul sighed, scraping his nails over the back of his neck. 

“I should have listened.” He admitted. “I’m sorry. I let my desire to see you in person drown out your wants and needs.” Shrugging, I sent him a soft smile to let him know that all was forgiven. “So I have some good news for you.” He declared, shifting topics. “The coyotes agreed to give me two weeks off. So I was thinking I’d come out a week before your due date and stay the full two weeks so hopefully, I can help you out for at least a few days once she arrives.” 

The knowledge that he was willing to fly across the country to be there to support me and this little girl through labor and the first little bit after her arrival meant the world and I couldn’t control the tears pouring down my cheeks. As quickly as they fell, Paul’s thumbs were wiping them away. “I take it that works for you…” He surmised. “At least I’m hoping these are happy tears. Sometimes I can’t tell anymore with the way you start crying at the drop of a hat.” He teased. 

Though he teased about your emotions going haywire, he never complained and took whatever you threw at him, letting anything negative roll right off of his back. You owed him more thank yous than you could ever say and shifting your body, you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly as your little girl squirmed inside of you. 

Knowing that he would be by your side made the prospect of labor a little less scary and now you were even more ready to have your little girl in your arms. 


End file.
